You're Not Alone
by MarsBar656
Summary: It's been a month since Tony's attack, and everything that's happened - a relationship with Ziva, PTSD, the arrest of his attackers, and now a daunting trial that he doesn't know how he'll make it through - is just as scary as when it was brand new. He is terrified, and the only way to make it is to remember that they're not alone. (SEQUEL TO FOR YOU, LOOSELY S8) COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

_Hi everyone! I was expecting to actually post this on like Friday afternoon. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the first chapter of the second part of this series! Please tell me what you think!_

 _ **One**_

Ziva looked up from her book when she heard the sound of the office door opening. Tony emerged from the office, followed by Paige Wilson, a tall brunette with square-rimmed glasses - the therapist he had been seeing twice a week for the last three weeks. Ziva smiled when she saw him and placed her book mark in her book, then stood to greet Tony.

"I'll see you on Friday Tony." Paige said, patting Tony on the shoulder lightly.

Tony smiled a bit. "We'll be here."

"Bye guys." Paige said.

Ziva smiled, waving at her. "Have a good day."

"You too." Paige said before she walked back into her office and shut the door behind herself.

Tony walked toward Ziva, who opened her arms to him. Tony accepted her embrace, burying his face into her dark curls, like he always did after a session with Paige. The first time he had come, he had asked Ziva to go in with him, which of course she did. After stepping out of the office that first day, Tony pulled Ziva to him to thank her for going in with him, and the couple stood there in each other's arms for at least ten minutes.

Ziva kissed his temple softly. "Do you want to go get something to eat?"

Tony shook his head. "Can we just go back to your place and warm up some leftovers or something?" He asked.

Ziva smiled a bit. "Of course." She said, running her hands over Tony's back gently.

Tony stood up and reached for Ziva's hand, tangling his fingers with hers. They walked out of the building and across the parking lot to Ziva's red Mini and sat down inside.

"Do you want to stay at my place or yours tonight?" Ziva asked.

They had taken to switching off whose apartment they spent their time in. Tony had been scheduled to see Paige Monday's and Friday's, so they found a natural rhythm in just switching houses. They were both getting quite the collection of the other's belongings in their respective apartments as well.

Tony shrugged. "Yours is fine. I like your apartment, it's home-y." He told her simply.

Ziva smiled as she put the car in drive. "My apartment it is then. Did you want to stop and get anything from yours?" She asked.

"No, I'll be fine with what's there." Tony told her.

Ziva chuckled. "You should, you fill half of my dresser." She said as they came to a red light.

"You take up more of mine than I do yours!" Tony said, laughing.

Ziva thought for a moment, and eventually conceded, realizing that Tony was indeed correct.

"You are right." She told him.

Tony grinned, turning to look at her. "How'd those words taste?" He asked.

Ziva rolled her eyes. "Bitter." She said with a smile.

XXXXX

Tony toed his shoes off at the door as they entered Ziva's apartment and walked into the kitchen. He opened the fridge and bent down to examine its contents. Half a package of raspberries, some leftover roast chicken and mashed potatoes from the night before, and other random packages of fruits that Ziva enjoyed.

Ziva hung her keys up on the hook beside the door and walked into the kitchen. She walked up beside Tony, resting her hand on his back gently. He turned around to look up at her.

"Let me in there. I will warm up the chicken." She requested.

Tony smiled and backed out of the fridge, making sure he wouldn't hit his head when he stood up straight.

"I was just gonna grab some berries or something." Tony told her. "We ate a little while ago."

"Oh, alright, can you grab some bowls?" She asked.

Tony nodded walked over to the cupboard where she kept the dishes.

"Which berries did you want?" Ziva asked as he reached to grab two bowls.

"Doesn't matter, blueberries and raspberries I guess, don't have to cut them." Tony said.

Ziva took the two containers of berries out of the fridge and set them down on the counter. She reached out and turned on the cold water and popped the containers open to rinse the berries off before she dumped some into each bowl that Tony handed her.

Satisfied with their mid-afternoon snack, the couple migrated back to the living room to relax on the couch. Ziva sat down against the arm of the couch and leaned back, allowing Tony to rest against her comfortably as they ate.

"How did your session go?" Ziva asked. They had realized fairly early on in Tony's therapy that talking about what was happening, both so Ziva knew what to expect, and so Tony could process everything was very helpful to them both.

Tony shrugged. "Okay I guess. Nothing new really, we just talked about coping strategies." He told her.

Ziva nodded. "For nightmares or panic attacks?" She asked.

"Both." Tony told her.

"That is good. What did you come up with?"

Tony smiled a bit, resting his head on Ziva's shoulder as he bit into a blueberry.

"Right now, you help a lot." Tony told her. "And that's good. I like being able to come to you if something's wrong. If it's not putting too much pressure on you."

Ziva kissed his forehead gently. "It isn't."

Tony nodded. "The nightmares are kind of our biggest focus because they happen so often. But you really do help keep me calm, and I feel safe with you."

Ziva smiled. The honor, and pride that she felt every time Tony told her that he felt safe with her was immense. All she wanted was to make him feel safe, and happy, and if she could manage that… she had decided that it was one of the best things in the world, aside from loving, and being loved by Tony.

"And she likes that I'm not scared of you touching me, once I realize that it's you." Tony continued.

He placed both his and Ziva's empty bowls on the coffee table and turned onto his side, resting his head on Ziva's chest. She wrapped one arm around him, and her other hand came up to run through his hair softly. He loved it.

"She just wants me to be able to find ways to ground myself when I have nightmares. We talked about you, obviously, and you rubbing my back, or holding me, or singing. And we kind of went into like when they get really bad and I just can't get out of it having you bring me a cold cloth or something just, so I can feel something that's completely different…" Tony trailed off. "If you don't mind doing that."

Ziva tightened her grip on him. "I will try anything you want to help you Tony. I do not mind at all."

She felt Tony nod against her chest. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"When you have nightmares, what do they feel like?" Tony asked.

"What do you mean?" Ziva asked.

Tony shrugged. "I don't know, like I know they're scary, but when you wake up, what do you notice first? Or do you notice anything? And what makes you realize that you're safe?"

Ziva thought for a moment before answering. "I think I realize I am safe when I start to see that I am in my own bed, or yours lately, and everything is familiar. Sometimes it is seeing things that helps most, sometimes it can be something like touching my blankets, or holding your hand. I find that smells help too. If I can't smell the cigarette smoke anymore, I know that I am awake and safe." Ziva detailed.

Tony wrapped his arms around her waist. "I kinda wanna say that what helps me calm down the fastest is when I can hear you. Like not even talking sometimes, if I have my head on your chest and I can hear you breathing, you're stable, and steady."

Ziva nodded. "That makes sense." She assured him.

"Behind the bar, and always in the nightmares, I can hear the music and it's so loud that any time I try to call for help it just drowns me out. You're a nice change from that, and that's when I'm like 'oh, okay, I'm not in any danger right now.'" Tony told her.

"I am glad I can help you, even a little bit." Ziva said, his forehead gently.

Tony smiled. "I am too."

XXXXX

Tony pulled the fluffy comforter over himself, waiting for Ziva to finish brushing her teeth and turn off the light. As if on cue, a moment later the hall light was flicked off and Ziva walked into the bedroom.

"Can I turn the big light off?" She asked, referring to the ceiling fan above the bed.

Tony nodded. "Yep."

Ziva hit the light switch and peeled off her clothes before climbing into bed beside Tony. In the month since Tony was attacked, they hadn't spent a single night away from each other, not even one of them in the bed and one of them on the couch. They always slept together, and if they were perfectly honest, they both preferred it like this. They both slept better when they could feel the warmth of the person that they loved next to them.

Ziva reached over to turn off the lamp on the bedside table and they slid closer together shifting into the middle of the bed. Ziva opened her arms to Tony, who willingly settled himself down in her grasp, resting his head on the pillow beside her shoulder. He kissed her shoulder softly.

"Goodnight Zi." He said quietly, his eyes already half-lidded from his tiring day – therapy sessions always made him tired, even if there was six hours between the session and him going to bed.

Ziva pulled him tighter against her and kissed his forehead softly. "Goodnight Tony. I love you."

Tony smiled, completely content. "I love you too."


	2. Chapter 2

_**Two**_

Tony and Ziva had just sat down for breakfast the next morning when Ziva's phone rang. She picked it up and looked at the caller ID.

"Gibbs." She told Tony, who was shoving forkfuls of waffle into his mouth.

She hit talk and held the phone up to her ear.

"Hello."

"How's everything going?" Gibbs asked casually.

Ziva shrugged. "Alright, I guess. What is happening there?" She asked.

Gibbs was silent for a moment. "I just got off the phone with the prosecutor, they've set a trial date." He told her.

Ziva did her best to keep her expression neutral as she listened to Gibbs.

"He wants to set up a meeting with Tony at his office. I told him to call you, just thought I'd give you a heads up." Gibbs said.

Ziva nodded. "Thank you." She said simply.

"How is he?" Gibbs asked curiously. He cared about all of his agents, they were his family, and when one of them was hurting he took it personally.

"Good, getting better." Ziva told him. She looked over at Tony, who was still shoving food into his mouth and laughed lightly. "Enjoying waffles a little bit too much right now."

Gibbs chuckled. "That's good. I'm glad he can enjoy something. How's his head feeling?"

"The concussion is definitely still there." Ziva told him. "He has an appointment to see the neurologist about it on Thursday."

"Good, make sure he's taking it slow. He needs whatever brains he's got." Gibbs joked.

Ziva laughed. "I'll do that."

"You know you still have about a month of leave stacked up, yeah?" Gibbs asked.

Ziva nodded. "I'll take as much of it as needed. Unless you need me to go back. How are you and McGee doing?"

"It's not just us, we have an agent assigned to us for a while. Take as much time as you need. Both of you." Gibbs told her.

"Are you sure?" She asked

"Family first." Gibbs responded simply.

"Who's the agent?" Ziva asked.

"Hawkins." Gibbs said.

Ziva cringed. "From counter-terrorism?" She asked.

Gibbs nodded. "That's the one. It's no big deal Ziver. We'll manage. I'll let you get back to your breakfast. Take care of each other." He told her.

Ziva smiled a bit. "We will. Thanks Gibbs." She said before she hung up the phone.

She tossed the phone onto the coffee table and picked up her fork to start to eat her own waffle.

"What's up?" Tony asked.

Ziva swallowed her bite before responding. "They've set a trial date." She told him.

Tony clenched his jaw. "And?"

"The prosecutor wants to meet with you." Ziva said. "Gibbs said he would be calling sometime today."

Tony felt his hands starting to shake. He wasn't ready for this, not even in the slightest.

Ziva reached her hand out to grasp one of Tony's. "It is just a meeting Tony, you will be alright. I will be right there with you if you want me to be." She told him.

Tony took a deep breath. "Okay." He said, unsure of what else he could really say other than, _'I don't want to do this, I don't want to do this, I don't want to do this.'_

Ziva finished off her waffles and took both plates into the kitchen to be washed later. She walked back into the living room to find Tony on the couch, staring blankly at the wall in front of him.

She sat down on the coffee table in front of him and held out her hands. Tony reached out to her, holding her hands tightly.

"Everything will be alright Tony." Ziva said as her thumbs rubbed soothing circles over his palms.

"He's gonna ask me to testify… can I say no?" Tony asked, his voice small.

Ziva bit her lip. "I do not know Tony." She told him honestly. "They have DNA evidence, and photos of your injuries, there is no doubt that they are guilty. I am not sure why they would even do this."

"What if they're doing it because they have something on me and they think I'll have the charges dropped? Or because we put one of their friends or something in prison? What if it's revenge?" Tony asked, panicked.

Ziva stood up and made her way to sit behind him on the couch. With one of her legs on either side of him Tony laid back against Ziva. She wrapped her arms around him from behind and kissed his neck softly.

"What could they possibly have on you Tony? And if there was any connection between you and them the team would've found it by now. It was random Tony, I do not know why they would decide to go to trial, but I do not think it is to get revenge on you." Ziva said softly.

Tony shrugged. "Maybe." He said quietly.

Ziva could feel him starting to shake and she knew that if he didn't calm down he would end up having a panic attack. Keeping her arms wrapped around Tony's waist, she laced her fingers through his and began to rock him gently from side to side.

Tony closed his eyes when he felt Ziva start to rock him and he tried to take deep breaths as he listened to her talk about whatever she could think of.

XXXXX

They were still sitting like this on the couch when Ziva's phone rang loudly on the coffee table, two hours later. Ziva picked it up and looked at the caller ID – she didn't recognize the number.

She hit talk and held the phone up to her ear. "Hello?" She asked.

A deep voice answered. "Hello, how are you doing today?" The voice asked.

"I am okay, how can I help you?" Ziva asked shortly.

"My name is Christopher Jordan, I'm the prosecutor on the DiNozzo case, can I please speak to Agent DiNozzo?" He asked.

Ziva held the phone out to Tony. "Prosecutor." She said quietly.

Tony took the phone with a shaky hand and held it to his ear. "Hello?" He said quietly.

"Agent DiNozzo, how are you?" Jordan asked.

"Okay, thanks." Tony said.

"Listen, I was hoping I could set up a time to meet with you either today or tomorrow, if that would be alright with you. I've got a few things I need to go over with you before the trial starts."

Tony looked up at Ziva, who smiled a bit as she tightened her hold on him slightly.

"Tomorrow would be alright I guess." Tony suggested.

Jordan nodded. "Does ten thirty work for you?"

"Yeah, that's fine." Tony told him.

"Alright, I'll see you then agent DiNozzo." Jordan said before he hung up the phone.

Tony hung up and tossed Ziva's cell phone onto the couch beside them.

"What did he say?" Ziva asked.

"He wants to meet tomorrow morning at ten thirty to go over some stuff for the trial." Tony told her.

Ziva kissed his forehead softly. "I will go with you if you like?" She asked.

Tony nodded against Ziva's chest. "Please."

Ziva tightened his grip on him once more before she released him. She laid down on the couch, resting her head on the arm and opened her arms up to Tony.

"Come here love." She said softly.

Tony laid down in Ziva's arms quickly and rolled over, so he was facing her. He buried his head into her chest and wrapped his arm around her, pulling her closer to him.

"Just relax for now Tony." Ziva told him softly. She figured it was best to keep him calm and focused on something that she was saying or listening to her breathing than it was to let his mind wander off in a million different directions.

Tony laid in Ziva's arms quietly. He closed his eyes and listened to her singing softly, and he could feel her chest moving against him when she took a breath. Both of her arms were wrapped around him and he felt safe. Safety was definitely a feeling that didn't come very often in the last few weeks, so whenever he did get the chance, he grabbed it and held on as tightly as he could.

Ziva watched Tony as she sang. He looked peaceful when he closed his eyes, like he had just finished playing a sport or something and he was taking a nap, like any other normal person. He was beautiful, as much as he would deny it, it was true.

She sang as many words as she could get out, hoping to keep Tony calm as she rubbed his back. She was free to rub just about anywhere on his back now, his bruises had faded almost a week ago, except for the bruise on his spine and the one on the back of his neck. They were still there, but even they looked as though they were almost healed.

Tony's eyes opened when he realized that Ziva had stopped singing. He looked up at her.

"You okay?" He asked.

Ziva snapped out of her thoughts and her eyes met his. "Huh?" She asked, confused.

"I asked if you were okay, you stopped singing." Tony told her.

Ziva thought for a moment. "I did?" She asked.

Tony nodded. "Yeah."

Ziva smiled softly. "I am fine. I was just thinking." She told him.

Tony smirked. "What'cha thinkin' bout?" He asked.

Ziva laughed lightly. "You. You are beautiful." She said. She had to tell him.

Now it was Tony's turn to laugh. "I don't think I'd use that exact word, but I am rather dashing." He said with a really awful British accent.

Zia nodded. "Alright, fine. Dashing." She said. "Are you happy?"

Tony kissed her jaw softly. "Very happy with you."


	3. Chapter 3

_**Three**_

Tony jerked awake suddenly, his eyes darting around the room to figure out where he was. He recognized the dresser across from the bed and he managed to take a deep breath. He was in Ziva's apartment.

He felt Ziva roll over beside him and he turned his head to look at her. Her eyes opened, and she propped herself up on her elbow.

"Nightmare?" She asked.

Tony nodded.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Ziva asked.

"No, I'm okay, just got a little freaked out about the meeting I guess." He told her.

Ziva reached out to run her hand over Tony's chest softly. She watched his face carefully.

"It will be okay Tony. I will be right there with you. Nothing bad will happen while I am around." Ziva assured him.

Tony nodded silently.

"Think you can get some more sleep?" She asked, deciding that he would tell her what he needed.

Tony nodded and shifted closer to her. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close.

"Thank you." Tony said softly. He lifted his head to press a gentle kiss to her lips.

Ziva smiled. "Get some rest Tony." She told him as she started to rub his back.

XXXXX

At exactly ten twenty-five the next morning, Tony and Ziva were taken into a waiting area outside of a room with:

CHRISTOPHER JORDAN| ADA

stenciled on the door.

Tony gripped Ziva's hand tightly as she led him to the small couch to wait.

Ziva watched Tony as he sat silently, staring at the office door, waiting for it to open. She wrapped one arm around Tony's waist, rubbing small, soothing circles over his back as her other held Tony's hand.

"Are you alright?" She asked in a hushed voice.

Tony shrugged. "I guess."

Ziva's head snapped toward the office door when she heard it creak open. A tall man in a well-tailored suit – Armani – she guessed, stepped out into the waiting area.

"You must be agent DiNozzo, please come in." He said, gesturing for Tony to enter his office.

Tony stood up, not letting go of Ziva's hand. "Can she come with me?" Tony asked.

Jordan looked down at Ziva. "Who are you?" He asked.

Ziva stood up. "Special Agent Ziva David." She told him.

"That's nice agent David, but who are you to agent DiNozzo?" Jordan asked bluntly.

Ziva stood silently, staring blankly at Jordan. She didn't know what to say… what was she to Tony?

She felt Tony squeeze her hand before he spoke up. "She's my partner, and my girlfriend." He told Jordan.

Ziva looked up at Tony quickly when she heard the word 'girlfriend.' Her heart fluttered, and she immediately decided that she loved being called Tony's girlfriend.

Jordan nodded his apology. "Of course, agents, come in." He said, slightly red-faced.

Ziva let Tony lead her into the office and they sat down on two armless office chairs around a round glass table.

Jordan followed them in and closed the door behind himself. He grabbed a stack of papers off of his desk and sat down across from them.

"I'm sure agent Gibbs has already told you, but a trial date has been set." Jordan started. "You're in law enforcement, you know how the court system works, so I'm not going to bore you with detailed explanations. I mostly wanted to meet today to tell you what's likely going to happen, and we can go from there."

Tony nodded silently, giving him the chance to go on.

"Jury selection is scheduled for Friday morning, and opening statements are Monday morning." Jordan said.

"Will I have to testify?" Tony asked quietly.

Jordan sighed. "You don't have to do anything agent DiNozzo, we have all the evidence we need to prove their guilt beyond a reasonable doubt."

Tony let out a sigh of relief. "Okay."

"However," Jordan continued, "I would like to ask you to speak. I want you to tell the court what they did to you. It may help the judge in coming to a more substantial sentence."

"What if I say no?" Tony asked.

"We've still got enough to win, physically, but I'm gonna be honest Tony, male on male sexual assault is difficult to prosecute. It's not that the physical evidence isn't there, it's just that the idea that men can't be victimized this way influences the public, and the jury, even if they don't realize that it's happening. I can put the SANE nurse who examined you that night, or the two officers who found you, or agents Gibbs, McGee, and even David – the arresting officers – on the stand, but the only one who knows what happened, who remembers how bad it was is you." Jordan told him.

Ziva watched Tony as Jordan spoke to him. He looked like he wanted to get up and bolt out of the office. He kept his grip tight on Ziva's hand and sat firmly in his chair. He sat silently for a moment after Jordan had finished speaking, processing everything he had just heard.

"I don't want anyone else to get hurt the way I did." Tony said quietly, repeating what Ziva had said when he asked her what she would do. "I'll do it."

Ziva squeezed Tony's hand tightly, a small version of a hug for now as she sat quietly, watching and listening.

Jordan nodded. "You're a very brave man Tony. And remember, you can back out at any time. I'm not issuing a subpoena, you're volunteering, so it isn't mandatory." He told Tony.

Tony nodded. "Alright."

"So, after opening statements on Monday morning, we'll start into witness testimony. I probably won't need you until at least Wednesday or Thursday, you'll be near the end of my list." Jordan said, looking down at a piece of paper in front of him.

"Can I ask who else is on your list?" Tony asked.

"Agents Gibbs and McGee, they were the lead investigators and they arrested Marshall." Jordan started. "Agent David was the one who technically arrested Clemens, Abigail Sciuto processed the evidence, and Sarah Lawson was the SANE, and of course you. That should pretty much be it, unless a witness pops up out of the blue."

Tony nodded. "Okay." He said simply.

"Anyway, you'll be one of the last I call, and we'll set up a time to prep, after jury selection. So basically, I'll question you first, give you the chance to tell your side of the story, and then there's a good chance that the defence attorney will want to cross-examine you. Don't worry, I'll be there objecting to anything that seems even a little bit out of line. They won't get away with much." Jordan said surely.

"How long will it take?" Ziva asked.

"Not long, half an hour, forty-five minutes, an hour at most. We just want to make sure that the jury has a clear idea of what happened, and how it's affected Tony." Jordan told her.

"What's the sentence for rape?" Tony asked.

"They're being charged with First Degree Sexual Abuse, and the maximum sentence for that is life in prison, obviously, but even if the jury only has cause for second degree, it's still twenty years." Jordan said.

Tony nodded. "That's good. When will the trial be over?"

"We should have closing statements on Friday morning, and then we'll leave the jury to deliberate for as long as they need." Jordan said. "And then they'll be remanded pending sentencing."

"And then I'll be free?" Tony asked quietly. "I won't ever have to see them again."

Ziva squeezed Tony's hand. "You will be able to breathe again." She told him softly.

Tony turned to look at her, a small, sad smile forming on his lips. "Okay." He said simply.

"I have some paperwork to fill out before Jury Selection, so I should get to that, but is it alright if I call you Friday so we can figure out prep times? For both of you? I'm prepping agents Gibbs and McGee as well as Ms. Sciuto tomorrow, and Ms. Lawson on Thursday, if I could meet with you then agent David?" Jordan asked.

Ziva nodded. "I will be here."

Jordan gave her a small smile. He turned to Tony, "and after jury selection Friday could I meet with you to prep you?" He asked.

Tony shrugged. "Yeah, that works."

Jordan nodded and stood up, stacking all of the papers on top of one another before transferring the large stack to his desk with a thud.

He turned around and reached out to shake Tony's hand. "It was nice to meet you agents, I'm sorry it was under these circumstances." He said.

Both Tony and Ziva shook his hand before he escorted them out of the office and down the hall to the elevator.

XXXXX

Tony leaned back in Ziva's arms as they sat down on the couch and she kissed his temple softly.

"You have no idea how proud I am of you." She told him quietly. "It takes a lot of courage to do what you just did."

Tony shrugged. "I realized you were right. I should testify, and make sure that they go to prison, because what if I didn't and they got off? Then there's a good chance that someone else would be doing the exact same thing I have been for the last month. And that isn't fair. No one deserves this." He said as he laced his own fingers with Ziva's on his stomach.

Ziva squeezed him tightly from behind. "That is good Tony. You're right." She said.

Tony smiled up at her. "Those words still bitter?" He asked.

Ziva laughed. "They always will be." She told him.

Tony kissed her jaw lightly. "I love you."

Ziva smiled. "I love you too." She said. "You called me your girlfriend."

Tony nodded. "I did indeed. Is that okay?" He asked, looking up at her, concerned.

Ziva smiled brightly. "Of course, it is okay Tony. There is no reason it wouldn't be."

Tony squeezed her hands tightly. "Good. You're my girlfriend. I like that." He said.

Ziva nodded. "I am your girlfriend." She said, the words almost felt foreign on her tongue. "Which I suppose makes you my boyfriend." She said – even more foreign.

Tony laughed. "You suppose right."


	4. Chapter 4

_Alright, here we go with chapter four! It took a little while for me to figure out how to word it, and remember what it was like to go to a concussion clinic (not that it's been that long haha…) anyway, go read the chapter and tell me what you think!_

 _ **Four**_

By the time Thursday morning rolled around, Ziva was almost as nervous as Tony was to be prepped by the ADA. She stood – no, she wasn't standing, you stay still when you stand – Ziva was pacing outside Jordan's office in the waiting area, Tony sitting on the small couch watching her.

"Come sit Zi." Tony said softly.

Ziva snapped out of her thoughts when she heard Tony speak. This was the first time he'd said anything since they arrived. She sat down on the couch beside him and he wrapped his arm around her.

"Why are you so nervous?" He asked.

Ziva shrugged. "I have no idea. It is not like I've never testified before… it is just different this time… personal." She told him.

Tony pulled her closer against his side and kissed her temple. "You're gonna do great. And besides, it's not like this is the real thing. It's just me and Jordan for now."

Ziva nodded, leaning against Tony. "I know… I know." She said softly.

Tony ran his hand up and down her back gently, trying to settle her a little bit. Ziva felt herself relax into Tony's hands and she took a deep breath.

"I am okay." She said quietly, hoping Tony couldn't hear her voice shaking.

She really had no idea why she was so scared to do this. She had testified hundreds of times in different cases _. 'This one is just too close to home because it is Tony.'_ She told herself.

Jordan's office door opened, and he stepped out. "Good, you're both here, please come in. There's been a change." He told them.

Ziva felt Tony tense up and she knew it was her turn to play the calming influence. She reached for Tony's hand and squeezed it tightly in her own.

"Come," she said softly, "it could be good news."

Tony nodded silently and stood up. He let Ziva lead him to the office and they sat down in the same chairs that they had been in two days earlier.

Jordan closed the door and sat down across from them.

Ziva was the first to break the silence. "What happened?" She asked.

"Petty Officer Marshall took a deal." Jordan told them.

"What kind of deal?" Tony asked quickly.

"If he changes his plea to guilty, and testifies against Clemens, he'll take fifteen years in a federal prison, plus a dishonorable discharge from the Navy." Jordan explained.

"So, he's on our side now?!" Tony asked angrily.

Ziva squeezed Tony's hand. "What does that mean for the trial?" Ziva asked curiously.

"With Petty Officer Marshall's testimony against his partner, we won't you to testify Tony. He can tell us what happened." Jordan told them.

Tony shook his head. "No." He said flatly.

"No?" Ziva asked.

Tony nodded. "I want to testify, and I want to do it before him. He doesn't get to tell my story before I do." He told them firmly.

Jordan nodded in understanding. "Alright, I can make that happen." He said.

Tony nodded. "Thank you."

"I also still want you to testify Ziva, you were the one who arrested Clemens, you fought with him, you can help outline how dangerous he is." Jordan said.

"Alright." Ziva said.

Jordan grabbed a large legal pad that looked to be full of questions off his desk and sat back down across from Tony and Ziva.

"So, when you're up there, I'm mostly just going to be asking you what happened when you arrested Clemens." Jordan told her.

Ziva nodded. "I understand." She said, waiting for him to read over his long list of questions.

They sat quietly for a few moments before Jordan spoke.

"Alright, Agent David, what happened the day that you arrested mister Clemens?" He asked simply.

Ziva took a deep breath, trying to straighten her thoughts. "I arrived at the coordinates I had been given, and I approached the house on foot."

"By yourself?" Jordan asked.

Ziva nodded. "Yes."

"Why didn't you wait for backup?"

"I – um… I don't know…" Ziva trailed off. She sighed, resting her head in her hand.

Jordan looked up from his paper. "That's okay. That's why we're doing this before we put you in front of a courtroom. Just talk me through what happened."

XXXXX

An hour later, Ziva was still talking through the prep questions with Jordan.

"What happened next?" Jordan asked.

"I handcuffed the suspect, and read him his Miranda Rights, and he was put in the vehicle with agents Gibbs and McGee for transport back to NCIS." Ziva told him, finishing off her story.

Jordan dropped his pen down on his pad of paper. "Answer the questions exactly like that when I put you on the stand and you'll do perfectly."

Ziva nodded, satisfied with herself. "Thank you."

Jordan turned to Tony. "Can we meet on Saturday for your prep? That way jury selection will be over and we'll know what we have to work with." He suggested.

Tony nodded. "Yeah, that works for me." He said as he stood from his chair.

"Alright, I'll see you then." Jordan said.

He walked over to open the door for them. "Have a good rest of the day."

Ziva smiled. "You too."

"Well that wasn't as bad as we thought." Tony said while they waited for the elevator.

XXXXX

"It's Thursday!" Tony said, sitting straight up on the couch.

Ziva, who was standing in the kitchen, warming up a pot of soup, walked into the living room.

"What is special about Thursday?" She asked.

"I'm supposed to see the neurologist at three thirty." Tony reminded her.

"Shit." Ziva exhaled, looking up at the clock on the wall. It was already three. She took the pot of soup off the element and turned off the stove.

"We should go." She said as she slipped her shoes on.

Tony hurried to get his shoes on, and before he knew it, they were out the door and back in the car again.

XXXXX

Ziva held the building's door open for Tony to walk through and he stopped on the other side, waiting for her to come and take his hand. She tangled her fingers with his and they walked toward the check-in desk.

Ziva took a seat in one of the padded chairs against the wall while Tony approached the desk.

The man sitting behind the desk looked up at him. "How can I help you?" He asked.

"I have an appointment at three thirty." Tony told him.

"What's your name?" The man behind the desk asked.

"Anthony DiNozzo."

The man behind the desk clicked his mouse a few times before he seemed satisfied. He handed Tony a clipboard and a pen.

"Just fill this out and bring it back to me when you're finished please."

Tony nodded and sat down beside Ziva.

He looked down at the paper on the clipboard, almost surprised at the amount of detail on the questionnaire.

He filled in his personal information and moved onto the symptom checklist.

' _Has the patient experienced any of these symptoms in the past seven days?'_ He read to himself.

He circled yes to headache, and no to nausea, vomiting, vision problems, and sensitivity to light, and moved on to the cognitive checklist.

' _Not feeling mentally foggy, don't have difficulty concentrating, I remember everything…'_ He thought.

He tapped his pen against the clipboard for a moment before leaning over toward Ziva.

"How different am I acting compared to my usual self?" He asked, pointing out the question to her.

"Maybe a one, you have not been unreasonably different after everything." She told him.

Tony nodded and circled '1' on the paper. He signed his name on the bottom of the sheet and took the clipboard back up to the desk.

The man at the computer took it from him, smiling. "Thanks. The doctor will be with you soon."

Tony nodded and sat back down beside Ziva. He reached over to hold her hand, which she gladly accepted, she began to rub circles on his palm with her thumb.

They sat quietly for a few minutes before a woman in scrubs called Tony's name. They both stood up and followed her back to an exam room.

"You can have a seat on the table mister DiNozzo." She told him.

Tony nodded and managed to shift himself onto the table as Ziva sat in a chair in the corner of the room.

"The doctor will be in in a moment." The nurse told them.

"Thank you." Tony said.

A few moments later, as promised, there was a knock on the door. It was pushed open and Doctor Roberts walked in, carrying Tony's thin file.

"Hi Tony, how are you doing?" She asked as she sat down on the stool in front of the desk.

Tony shrugged. "Alright, you?" He asked politely.

Doctor Roberts smiled. "I'm great." She said. "Okay, so I'm just going to check your pupils and your balance first."

Tony nodded. "Okay."

Doctor Roberts took her pen light out of her pocket and waved it in front of Tony's eyes.

"Your eyes are much faster to react this time Tony, that's great." She told him.

Tony nodded silently.

"Can you stand up please?" Doctor Roberts asked.

Tony nodded and pushed himself off of the table.

"Okay, now close your eyes and hold your arms out, with your palms facing the ceiling for me." She said.

Tony did as he was asked. He felt himself swaying slightly, he felt a bit dizzy, even with his eyes closed.

"Okay, you can open your eyes ad sit down." Doctor Roberts told him.

She sat back down on the stool and waited patiently for Tony to sit.

"Alright, so obviously you were injured when you were assaulted, and I know you lost consciousness, do you remember everything before and during the attack?" Doctor Roberts asked.

Tony shuddered slightly, but he nodded. "Yeah, I do." He said quietly. He felt Ziva's fingers brushing against his hand, and he gripped her hand tightly, thankful for the support.

"Do you remember everything that's happened since?" Doctor Roberts asked.

Tony nodded. "Yeah."

Doctor Roberts nodded as she scribbled notes into Tony's chart. "Alright, and you've had how many concussions before this?" She asked.

Tony thought for a moment. "Three, I think." He told her.

"And how bad were those?"

Tony shrugged. "They weren't really, they lasted maybe a week and a half and then I was perfectly fine."

Doctor Roberts nodded and put her pen down. "So, you know that every time you get a concussion, it gets easier and easier to sustain another one, and they tend to last longer." She said.

Tony nodded. "Yeah." He said, waiting for her to continue.

"I'm not incredibly worried about you, you seem to be progressing exactly how you should be at this point, it's been, a little over a month correct?" She asked.

Tony nodded. "Thirty-four days." He said, squeezing Ziva's hand slightly. He felt her squeeze his hand in return, reminding him that everything was okay.

"Exactly, so you're right on track. Keep to the no physical activity, and if something starts to hurt, don't do it. Wait a day or two and try again, and it should start to get easier and easier. No driving, either, just in case I let that slip through." Doctor Roberts said.

"Alright, sounds easy enough." Tony said.

Doctor Roberts smiled. "I'm going to schedule you for a follow-up head CT in about three or four weeks, and after that's finished, you can call and book an appointment, and we'll see what we should do from there."

Tony nodded. "Sounds good, doc, thanks." Tony said.

Doctor Roberts stood and reached out to shake his hand, and then Ziva's, before she escorted them out of the room and pointed them in the direction of the waiting room.

Tony and Ziva walked hand in hand down the hallway, and out the door to the parking lot.

"I hate concussions." Tony said as they sat down in the car.

Ziva smiled. "They seem to like you." She joked.

Tony laughed lightly. "You've got jokes now?"

Ziva chuckled and leaned over to kiss him softly. "Did it make you feel a bit better?" She asked.

Tony nodded. "Maybe a little."

"Then yes. I have jokes."


	5. Chapter 5

_Here's chapter 5! It took me a few days longer to write it than normal, and that's honestly probably gonna happen with most of the chapters in this story, just because there's so much and I have to edit it down and everything… But either way, enjoy chapter 5 and tell me what you think!_

* * *

 _ **Five**_

Tony sat down in the squishy arm-chair in Paige's office on Friday morning, waiting for her to get situated and ready to start the session.

Paige grabbed her pen out of its designated cup and turned her computer monitor off before turning to Tony.

"How has your week been?" She asked.

Tony shrugged. "Okay I guess. Ziva and I met with the ADA on Tuesday to talk about prepping for the trial." He told her.

Paige nodded. "That's good, how is that going?"

"One of them took a deal. He's testifying for the prosecutor." He said.

"And what do you think about that?" Paige asked.

Tony sat silently for a moment, thinking. "I have no idea." He told her honestly.

Paige nodded. "That's alright. What about you, are you testifying?" She asked.

"Yeah."

"Okay, are you worried about it?" Paige asked.

Tony nodded. "Yeah… I don't want to see him."

"That's totally understandable Tony. Are you worried he'll try something? Or are you scared of him?" Paige asked.

Tony shrugged. "I don't think he'd do anything… I'm scared that seeing him will make everything worse, and I'll end up right back where I started."

Paige nodded, writing a few notes in her notebook. "Do you think you'll end up having a panic attack in the courtroom?"

"I hadn't even really thought about that, but yeah… I guess that could happen." Tony said quietly.

"That's okay Tony. That's why we're here, to help you figure out how to cope with your anxiety." Paige told him.

Tony nodded. "The panic attacks don't happen very often, I've had a few, but they're fairly rare."

"That's good, that gives you one less thing to deal with most of the time, but it can also make them scarier, because your body and your brain aren't really working together, and it's kind of confusing and disorienting for you." Paige told him.

"Yeah… the first one I had… I was terrified, I ended up on the floor of an elevator. I thought I was gonna die." Tony said quietly.

Paige nodded, interested in what Tony was telling her. "What happened?" She asked.

"Ziva was there, she just told me to breathe with her, so I did." Tony told her.

"That's good, and I'm glad she was there for that the first time." Paige said.

Tony nodded silently. "She won't be in the courtroom though."

Paige nodded. "Is she testifying as well?" She asked.

"Yeah."

"Ah, alright, gotcha. Okay, so Ziva won't be in the courtroom with you, what do you think you can do that would keep you calm?" Paige asked.

Tony shrugged. "I don't really know. It's not something I've ever had to think about."

"That makes sense. Let's talk about how you feel when you're having a panic attack, what are you thinking about, if anything?" She asked.

Tony thought for a moment. "I don't know what I think about, that's why it scares me so much, I don't have any control over my mind, or my body."

Paige nodded. "That's perfectly normal Tony." She told him. "And there are plenty of things that you can try to help keep you grounded and present."

"Like what?" Tony asked quietly.

Paige smiled a bit. "Breathing is always a good start. Take slow, deep breaths, just focus only on breathing for a minute or two."

Tony nodded. "Alright."

"If you notice that you're starting to get really tense too, try your best to relax your muscles." Paige said.

Tony nodded. "I don't know if I can get my brain to think well enough to do that when I'm scared."

"That's why it works." Paige told him. "It's a distraction for your brain. A panic attack at its core is really just an immense, overwhelming wave of anxiety about something, even if the cause is unknown. Giving your brain something to think about other than what's causing the anxiety will help your brain figure out that nothing is wrong, and you're not in any immediate danger."

Tony nodded. "That makes sense. I can try it." He said.

"Alright." Paige said, scribbling more notes into her notebook. "How have your nightmares been?" She asked.

Tony shrugged. "They're there." He said simply.

"Have there been any really bad ones?" Paige asked.

"One." Tony told her.

Paige nodded. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Doesn't matter." Tony said.

"It's totally up to you Tony, you don't have to." Paige reminded him.

Tony sighed. "I just… relived it again." He told her. "It felt really real. I could feel my chest scraping on the ground, and I was trying to fight being held down, and I felt him on top of me…" He trailed off.

He could feel his breathing starting to speed up and he gripped the arm of the chair tightly as memories flashed in his head. He tried to do what Paige said, he tried to make himself relax, but he couldn't.

Tony didn't notice Paige leave her spot at her desk or notice when she opened the door to call Ziva into the office. He could hear faint voices but didn't make out much of what was being said.

Ziva crouched down in front of Tony, keeping her hands where he could see them as she watched him for a moment. His eyes were wide, and he looked like he couldn't even see her, he was looking through her. She hadn't ever seen that look on his face before. It was new, and she didn't like it.

She reached out slowly and, resting her hand on the arm of Tony's chair, she let her fingers stretch out to touch his lightly. He didn't flinch. Ziva couldn't decide whether it was because he trusted her, or because he didn't even feel it. She ran her fingers over the back of his hand for a moment before she tried to loosen his grip on the chair. He let her remove one hand from the chair and she tangled her fingers with his. Tony's grip on her hand tightened and she took this as a good sign. She reached out to remove his other hand from the chair, and he held it just as tightly.

"Everything is alright Tony." Ziva told him softly. "All you have to do is breathe love, you'll feel better soon."

Tony sat silently, trying to slow his thoughts as the last month played back in his mind. The attack, the hospital, Ziva, all of his nightmares, the arrests of his attackers, the news of the trial… Ziva. He suddenly felt his hands being squeezed and he felt himself begin to pay attention to his surroundings again. Ziva was on the floor in front of the chair, looking up at him, concern written all over her face. He didn't know how he didn't realize she was there sooner. He felt relief wash over him when he realized that she was real, and he was safe.

Ziva watched as Tony's eyes came back into focus and he looked at her, not through her. She smiled softly, squeezing his hands.

"Everything is alright." She repeated.

She stood up and sat down on the arm of the chair. Tony leaned against her and she wrapped her arms around him.

"You are not alone in this Tony." She told him.

He nodded silently, thankful that she was there. He heard the door open and shut behind him, and then Paige's voice.

"I think Tony's had enough for today, why don't you two just take off, and I'll see you Monday?" She asked.

Ziva looked down at Tony, whose face was buried in her side, and he was still trying to calm his breathing. He nodded against her.

"Okay." Ziva said, looking up at Paige.

Paige nodded. "I've got some files that need to be put away, you two take as long as you need." She told them.

Ziva smiled a bit. "Thank you."

Paige nodded and stepped out of the office, making sure to close the door behind her.

Ziva looked down at Tony, who was still breathing quickly against her. She ran her hand through his hair gently.

"Just breathe love, deep breaths." She told him.

Tony nodded, his grip on her tightening.

Ziva watched him for a moment, and eventually, she realized that his breathing wasn't slowing down.

"Can you sit on the floor?" She asked softly.

Tony nodded, and she stood from the arm of the chair and repositioned herself on the floor in front of it. Tony watched her quietly and slid unceremoniously to sit in front of her. Ziva sat herself so she was facing Tony's side, and wrapped her arms around him. He leaned into her, resting his head on her chest.

Ziva kissed his temple softly as she rocked him. "You have to calm your breathing Tony." She told him. "Breathe with me."

She took a deep breath and held it, before letting it out slowly. She had done this dozens of times with Tony, and sometimes it was the only thing that worked.

XXXXX

"The Prosecution wishes to relieve this juror, your Honor." Christopher Jordan said as he sat down at his table.

Judge Sean Anderson nodded, and juror number twelve stood in the jury box, and walked out.

"Juror nineteen, please step into the jury box and take juror twelve's place." The judge called out. A large, gruff looking man stepped out of the gallery and walked into the jury box, barely able to squeeze himself into the second row.

Scott Lincoln, the defense attorney representing Max Clemens stood when juror nineteen took his seat.

"Good morning sir, how are you today?" Lincoln asked politely.

"Fine, thanks." Juror nineteen responded.

"That's good, now have you or anyone close to you ever had any training in the law, psychology, or been in the United States Military?" Lincoln asked.

Juror nineteen shook his head. "No sir."

Lincoln nodded and looked down at his notes. "Do you believe that you would give the testimony of a law enforcement officer either more or less weight than the testimony of other witnesses, simply because the witness is a law enforcement officer?" He asked.

"No sir, officers are people, just like the rest of us." He said.

Lincoln nodded. "The charges pertaining to this case include first degree sexual abuse, assault of a law enforcement officer, and resisting arrest. Do you have any personal knowledge of these charges?"

"No sir."

"Thank you for your honesty sir." Lincoln said. He looked up at Jordan before looking over at the judge. "The defense is satisfied with this juror."

The judge nodded. "Mister Jordan, do you wish to examine this juror?" He asked.

Jordan nodded. "Yes, your honor." He said as he stood up. He picked up his notebook and walked toward the jury box.

"Juror nineteen, do you have any political, moral, or religious beliefs that would prevent you from passing judgement on another person?" Jordan asked.

"No sir." Juror nineteen told him.

Jordan nodded. "Do you believe that any member of your family or friends has ever been treated unfairly by any law enforcement agency?"

Juror nineteen shook his head no. "Not to my knowledge."

"If you are selected as a juror on this case, will you have any difficulty basing your decision on whether the defendant is guilty or not guilty solely on the evidence or lack of evidence presented to you during trial, without regard to bias, prejudice, suspicion, or sympathy?" Jordan asked, reading off of his notepad.

"No, I wouldn't have any difficulty." Juror nineteen told him.

Jordan nodded. "Do you know anyone who could be involved in this case, whether it be judge, lawyer, defendant, or the victim?"

"No sir."

"Is there anything we haven't asked you that you think we should know about?" Jordan asked.

Juror nineteen shook his head no. "No sir."

Jordan nodded. "Thank you for your honesty." He turned to look at the judge. "The prosecution is also satisfied with this juror." He said as he sat back down at his table.

The judge nodded and picked up a piece of paper. "Alright gentlemen, opening statements Monday at ten in the morning, followed by mister Jordan's first witness." He said. He turned to address the jury. "Ladies and gentlemen thank you for your cooperation, you are to report to the jury room Monday morning at nine fifteen in the morning, for now you are excused."

The three men watched as the jurors filed out of the courtroom before Anderson spoke to the two attorneys again.

"Mister Lincoln, is your client certain that he wants to proceed with this trial?" Anderson asked.

Lincoln nodded. "Yes, your honor. He is insistent."

Anderson nodded. "Understood. Thank you for your time gentlemen, I'll see you Monday morning." He said.

Lincoln and Jordan stood up as Anderson walked out of the room.

"I'd still be willing to offer a deal." Jordan said as the two attorneys were packing their belongings.

"He won't take it, I've tried." Lincoln told him.

"Unfortunate for him." Jordan said before he turned on his heel and walked out of the courtroom.

Jordan pulled his cellphone out of his pocket and picked out Ziva's number from his contacts.

XXXXX

Ziva picked her cell phone up and handed it to Tony, so she could keep driving. Tony hit talk and put it on speaker.

"Hello?" Ziva said.

" _Agent David, it's ADA Jordan, is Agent DiNozzo around?"_ Jordan asked.

Tony spoke up from the passenger seat. "Right here."

" _Ah, perfect. We just finished with jury selection, I was hoping I could set up a time to meet with you, maybe tomorrow or Sunday to prep you."_ Jordan told them.

Tony sighed. "Alright, tomorrow is fine, what time?" He asked.

" _How's one o'clock?"_ Jordan asked.

Tony looked over at Ziva, who nodded. "I have no plans tomorrow." She said quietly.

"One is good." Tony told Jordan.

" _Sounds good, I'll see you tomorrow."_ Jordan said before he hung up.

Tony hit the end call button on Ziva's phone and put it back in the cupholder it had previously sat in.

"Do you want to stop and get something to eat?" Ziva asked.

Tony shrugged. "Sure."

"Alright… pancakes from Grinder's?" She asked.

Tony nodded silently.

"The number is in my phone, can you call, and we can have them delivered? We will be home before them." Ziva requested.

Tony picked her phone up and searched through her contacts for the number.

Ziva sat silently as she drove through D.C. toward her apartment. She listened closely when Tony spoke as he asked for two orders of pancakes, one with no bacon, one with extra bacon. She stopped at the last red light before her street and looked over at Tony. He was visibly calmer than he had been, even twenty minutes ago when they left Paige's office, but he wasn't himself.

She stepped on the gas when the light turned green. Tony hung up the phone and put it back once again.

"They'll be there in about fifteen minutes." He told her.

Ziva nodded as she turned the corner onto her street. "Okay."

XXXXX

"It was not the worst undercover assignment I have ever had." Ziva told Tony as they were cooking dinner that night. Somehow they had gotten into talking about when Ziva had first joined the team, they had gone undercover as married assassins.

"But not the best?" Tony asked.

"Considering it ended with both of us tied to chairs, and you having a bruised face, definitely not the best." Ziva reminded him.

"The worst part was still your snoring." Tony stated. "I'll take a bloody lip over snoring any day."

"I did not snore!" Ziva said, smiling brightly.

Tony laughed. "You absolutely did. What did you do about that, by the way? You don't snore now." He told her.

"That's because I have never snored!"

Tony shook his head. "You just don't want to admit you're wrong." He said, smiling at her.

Ziva laughed lightly. "Whatever you say." She said. "Wait what was the best part of that operation?" She asked.

Tony smiled. "You, naked." He told her simply.

Ziva laughed. "Mhm, I'm sure your 'knee' would agree with you." She said, moving to stand in front of him.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him softly. "I like this much better." She told him. "Maybe not the circumstances, but this is real."

Tony slipped his hands around her waist, pulling her close to him. "It was always real."

Ziva smiled when he admitted what she hadn't had the courage to five years ago. "You're right."

"The binoculars!" Tony said.

Ziva laughed hard, resting her head on his shoulder. "From the stakeout?" She asked.

Tony nodded. "I looked like a raccoon for two days Ziva! That stuff stained!" He told her.

Ziva nodded. "That was the point! And you took all of the bolts out of my chair!"

"Screws." Tony corrected, smiling at the memory.

Ziva rolled her eyes. "Same difference." She said, looking up at him. She smiled brightly when she saw how relaxed he was, a complete 180 from his earlier demeanor.

"What about that time you almost killed us in that storage container?" Tony asked.

Ziva chuckled. "I fired one shot, and neither of us were hit!" She told him. "And you were the one who set that fire."

Tony thought for a moment. "I did, didn't I?"

Ziva nodded. "And I am back to being right."

Tony laughed, and his arms tightened around her waist. "Whatever you have to tell yourself." He said before he pressed his lips to hers firmly.

Ziva pulled away a moment later, smiling up at him. "I am happy we're here." She said.

Tony nodded. "Me too."


	6. Chapter 6

_Okay, so I decided to write a chapter that wasn't completely trial/trial prep related, I hope you enjoy it, even if it is a bit short!_

 _ **Six**_

Ziva's eyes flew open and she sat up, panting. She turned to look at Tony, who seemed to be sleeping peacefully. He was safe. She looked toward the window and saw that it was still dark outside. She took a deep breath and shivered. She felt cold. Her hands moved to her chest, and then the sheets behind her as she realized that they were both soaked with sweat. She sighed and tossed the comforter off of her body and swung her legs off the side of the bed.

She stood and walked out into the hallway to grab two towels and a washcloth from the linen closet before she walked into the bathroom. She opened the shower door and reached in, adjusting the temperature of the water until it was comfortable.

It wasn't like this was a rare occurrence to her. She would have a particularly bad nightmare and wake up, shower, and put a towel down on the bed so she didn't have to change her sheets in the middle of the night. This just hadn't happened in a while.

She stepped into the shower and closed the door behind her. She let out a small sigh when the warm water hit her skin, helping her tensed muscles to relax. She didn't move to grab anything, or to clean herself. She couldn't.

Tony's eyes opened, and he reached out for Ziva. His head lifted off the pillow when he couldn't find her, only a cold, damp patch on the bed. He heard the shower running and he sat up. He walked over to the closet and pulled a fresh set of sheets out and set to work stripping and remaking the bed quickly.

He pulled the last pillow case over the pillow and tossed it onto the bed before he turned on his heel and walked into the bathroom.

"Zi?" He called out gently.

Ziva didn't move.

Tony opened the shower door and stepped in behind her. "It's just me." He said softly. "Are you okay?" He asked.

Ziva nodded silently and she turned around to look up at him.

"Can I touch you?" Tony asked.

Ziva nodded and stepped closer to him. She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face into his neck. Tony held her against him tightly. She was shaking.

"Nightmare?" He asked, even though he was already sure he knew the answer.

She nodded silently against him, and his grip around her waist tightened.

"Were you actually planning on washing, or were you just standing here?" Tony asked.

Ziva shrugged. "I don't know." She said quietly.

Tony reached and grabbed the shampoo off of the shelf and popped the lid open, squirting some of the soap into his hand. He kissed Ziva's forehead softly and brought his hands up to her hair, working the shampoo into it. He reached up and took the showerhead out of its mount and rinsed Ziva's hair gently.

Once he was sure all of the shampoo was out, he put the showerhead back and reached and grabbed the washcloth off of the rack on the wall and poured some of the Israeli's body wash onto it. He pulled Ziva's hair over her shoulder before he ran the cloth over her back gently.

If there was any tension left in the slim brunette's body, most of it dissipated when Tony started washing her back. Tony lifted her hair with one hand and ran the cloth over her shoulders.

"Rinse." He told her softly, stepping forward.

Ziva kept her arms wrapped around his neck and stepped backward, into the stream of falling water. Tony ran his hand over her back, wiping the soap away.

"Turn around." He requested gently.

Ziva's arms tightened around his neck and she pulled herself closer to him.

"Okay." He said softly, understanding.

He rinsed the cloth and hung it back over the rack and wrapped his arms around Ziva's waist again.

"Do you wanna go back to bed?" He asked.

Ziva nodded.

"Alright." Tony said. He reached to turn off the shower and opened the door. "Come on." He said softly, reaching up to take her hands from around his neck.

Her grip didn't budge.

Tony kissed her forehead softly. "Let me get you dried off and then you can come right back here, okay?" He asked gently.

Ziva nodded and let go of him, allowing him to lead her out of the shower. He grabbed a towel. "Do you want to do it?" He asked, holding the towel out to her.

Ziva shrugged.

Tony nodded silently and stepped closer to her, watching her to make sure it was okay before he began to dry her off quickly.

He finished with Ziva and ran the towel over his own body quickly before he opened his arms to her and she quickly attached herself to him. _'That must've been some nightmare.'_ He thought to himself.

"I'll do your hair in the bedroom, okay?" He asked.

Ziva nodded against him. He stood still for a moment before realizing that she wasn't going to let go. He unfolded the towel and wrapped it around her shoulders before he slid one arm around her waist and the other under her legs and picked her up.

He hit the bathroom light switch with his shoulder on the way out of the bathroom and he carried her into the bedroom and sat down in the middle of the bed with her in his lap. He took the towel from around her shoulders and began to dry her hair with it, which was slightly difficult at the angle he had to work with.

Once he was satisfied with how dry he had gotten Ziva's hair he dropped the towel by the side of the bed and wrapped his arms around her, pulling his girlfriend close to him. She was still shaking. He pulled the comforter up around her and began rocking her gently.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked.

Ziva shrugged. "I don't want to scare you." She said, so quietly he almost didn't hear her.

"I want to listen, if you want to tell me. I'll be fine." He assured her.

Ziva sat silently in his lap for a moment before she decided to speak.

"I could not do anything." She told him softly.

"In the dream?" Tony asked.

Ziva nodded.

"Couldn't do anything about what?" He asked.

Ziva sighed, and her grip around his neck tightened. "I was tied to a chair, across the room… and Saleem…" She trailed off.

Tony kissed her forehead softly. "You're safe Zi." He told her.

"It was you… instead of me…you were there, and he had you, and I… I could not stop him from hurting you. I tried everything, but I could not move." She said quickly.

Tony felt her breathing quicken and he pulled her tighter against him. "It wasn't real Zi." He said softly. "It was just a dream."

Ziva nodded against him, forcing herself to take a deep breath. "I'm sorry I woke you." She said softly. "I tried to be quiet."

Tony shook his head. "You have nothing to be sorry for Ziva." He told her firmly. "I love you, and I want to help you." He said as he rocked her gently.

"Okay." She said quietly. "I love you too."

Tony kissed her forehead. "I know." He said softly. "Do you want to lay down?" He asked.

Ziva nodded. "If you'll hold me… I… I need to know you are real, and that you are safe." She told him quietly.

Tony nodded. "I can do that." He said, shifting so he could lay down with her.

"I need a towel to put down on the bed." Ziva said.

Tony shook his head. "I changed the sheets." He told her.

Ziva looked up at him. "You did?" She asked.

Tony nodded. "Yeah, I didn't want you to have to worry about it." He said.

Ziva smiled softly. "Okay." She said, laying down beside him. She waited for him to get comfortable before she shifted closer to him. She rested her head on his chest and wrapped her arm around him tightly. Tony pulled her close to him and tucked the comforter around them both.

"Thank you." Ziva said quietly.

Tony smiled softly and kissed her forehead. "You're welcome Zi. Get some sleep, I'll be right here if you need anything." He told her.

Ziva nodded silently and let her eyes shut, trusting him to keep her safe.


	7. Chapter 7

_Alright, so the next few chapters are probably going to include the trial, and that's gonna take me a bit longer to write, so instead of updates every 2-3 days, it'll probably be more like every 3-6 days, but anyway, I felt like we needed another Ziva chapter, because this story is about healing on both sides. I hope you enjoy!  
_

* * *

 _ **Seven**_

Ziva was still wrapped around Tony when her eyes opened again at nine the next morning. She smiled to herself, staying still so she didn't wake Tony. She let her eyes close as she listened to his steady heartbeat. Ziva loved that as much as she made Tony feel safe, he did the same thing for her. He had since the day they met, and that never changed.

She felt his grip around her waist tighten and she tilted her head to look up at him. He smiled down at her.

"Morning." He said as he started rubbing light circles over her back.

Ziva smiled and pressed herself tighter against him. "Good morning."

Tony kissed her forehead softly. "You okay?" He asked.

Ziva shrugged. "I suppose."

"What happened to the no leaving rule?" Tony asked softly.

Ziva sighed. "I was covered in sweat, I just needed to rinse." She told him.

Tony nodded. "Wake me up next time Zi…" He requested softly.

Ziva nodded. "I do not want to… bother you, with it…" She trailed off. "It's been a long time since it happened, and you are going through so much… it does not seem as important. I know how to deal with it."

Tony sat up in the bed and pulled Ziva into his lap. "Please don't say things like that."

Ziva looked up at him. "It is true though."

Tony shook his head. "Don't try and make what one of us went through worse than the other. It doesn't work."

Ziva wrapped her arms around Tony's neck, and buried her face in his shoulder when she felt tears burning in her eyes. Tony held her against him tightly, rocking her back and forth gently.

"I know you know all of this Zi…" He said softly. "What's going on in your head?"

Ziva sniffled. "It is just a bad day." She told him, her voice shaking.

Tony nodded. "It's okay to have bad days."

"Not today." Ziva said. "You need me today."

Tony took a deep breath, immediately realizing what was happening. He kissed her temple. "I have you today sweetheart." He said softly. "You're right here with me."

Ziva stayed silent, letting tears fall onto Tony's shoulder.

"I wish you would figure out that you don't always have to be so strong." He whispered in her ear. "I don't mind when you're not, it's perfectly okay. You've been with me for just about every single bad day I've had for the last five years Ziva. Let yourself rest, I'm right here to hold you, and I always will be."

Ziva felt a fresh flood of tears in her eyes as she listened to him speak. Her grip around his neck tightened as she cried, her body shaking, forcing out loud sobs that Tony wished he could take away from her.

He held her against him tightly, he was almost scared to let her go. He was scared that if he let her go she would build walls around herself that were too high for anyone to climb. Tony wanted nothing more than… this, if he was being totally honest. It meant more to him than anything else that Ziva would let him see her break down. He knew that they loved each other, that was obvious, but the level of closeness they shared – that was better than anything he had ever experienced before.

Ziva held onto Tony like her life depended on it. She didn't know what else to do. She was terrified, and she was angry, and she had an overwhelming feeling of disappointment in herself. This was something she was used to, when she had days like today, but it never got any easier. She didn't understand how she could be doing so well, and then suddenly everything came crashing down around her and left her so confused.

Tony reached down to grab the comforter and wrapped it around them both as he rocked Ziva. "There's nothing wrong with this." He told her softly. "You know what, we don't have to meet Jordan until one, and I could always call him and tell him something came up. We could push it back to later today." He suggested.

Ziva nodded against him silently, trying to regain control of her breathing.

"I'll call him in a little while." Tony said. "And we can just spend the day like this. I'll even make you something to eat… well, I'll order you something." He told her. "We can do anything you need to Zi, we can sit here, and I can hold you, or we can go do sit-ups in the living room, or we can go sit in a bubble bath for five hours."

Ziva smiled softly. "That sounds nice." She told him, her voice raspy from crying.

Tony nodded. "Which part?" He asked.

"All of it." Ziva said softly, bringing her hand up to wipe tears off of her cheeks.

Tony kissed her forehead softly. "Alright, then that's what we'll do." He told her.

Ziva nodded.

Tony reached to grab his cell phone off of the nightstand and he pulled up ADA Jordan's number. He hit call and held the phone to his ear.

Jordan answered on the fourth ring. _"Agent DiNozzo?"_ He asked.

"Yeah, hi, um, I have a question for you." Tony said awkwardly. He hated talking on the phone.

" _I probably have an answer for you."_ Jordan said.

Tony laughed lightly. "I was hoping we could push our meeting back to later today, some uh, family stuff popped up and I need to be here." He told him.

He could hear Jordan flipping through his day planner. _"I can meet you around six o'clock."_ He told Tony.

Tony nodded. "That would be great, thank you." He said.

Jordan nodded. _"It's no problem agent DiNozzo, I totally understand. I'll see you at six."_

"Thank you." Tony said before taking the phone away from his ear and hitting the end call button. "Six o'clock." He told Ziva, who still had her head on his shoulder, watching him.

She nodded. "Alright."

Tony kissed her forehead softly. "Bath?" He asked.

Ziva smiled, nodding. "Sure."

Tony did his best to move toward the edge of the bed with Ziva still on his lap. He made sure his feet were on the floor firmly and he wouldn't trip over last night's towel as he stood up, with Ziva in his arms.

Ziva nuzzled into his shoulder. "You do not have to carry me Tony. Your doctor said no physical activity." She told him.

He smiled. "I know I don't. I want to. It doesn't hurt Zi, I promise. And besides, I'm going ten feet." He told her as he set her down on the bathroom counter.

He turned to face her, standing between her legs with his arms wrapped around her waist. He grabbed a hair elastic off of the counter and brought his hands up to brush Ziva's hair back and tie it up in a ponytail.

Ziva smiled as she watched his face, focused on what he was doing with her hair. His hands came down to rest back on her waist and she pulled him toward her, pressing her lips to his gently.

"Thank you for this.." Ziva said quietly as they pulled away from the kiss.

Tony kissed her forehead softly. "You don't have to thank me." He told her. "I'll be right back."

Tony stepped away from her and walked back into the hallway to grab towels from the linen closet. He set the towels down beside Ziva and turned on the water. He let the water run over his hand while it warmed up.

"Is this too hot?" He asked.

Ziva slid herself off of the counter and walked toward the tub. She leaned over to feel the water.

"This is good." She told him.

Tony plugged the tub and stood up and walked over to the counter where Ziva was leaning against it, watching him. He wrapped his arms around her, and her arms found their way around his neck, pulling him close to her.

"I am sorry for being so clingy." Ziva said suddenly.

Tony kissed her forehead softly. "Don't ever be sorry for this. I'll always be here to help you."

Ziva nodded silently against him.

They stood still, embracing each other until Tony noticed the tub was almost full.

"Come on." He said softly.

Tony stepped away from Ziva to turn the water off and he stepped into the tub. He sat down and held his hand out to her.

Ziva took his hand and stepped into the warm water. She sat down in front of Tony, leaning back against him with a soft, contented sigh. Tony wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to him. She turned onto her side and rested her head against his chest.

"What're you thinking about?" Tony asked, running his hand over her side gently.

Ziva shrugged. "Every time this happens, I feel like I have taken three steps backward, and everything resets itself." She said.

"What do you mean resets itself?" Tony asked.

"I just… I do not feel like I am going to be okay again." Ziva told him.

Tony nodded. "Can I ask you a question?"

Ziva nodded. "Of course."

"Does the one bad day you have outweigh all of the good ones you have?" Tony asked.

Ziva sat silently for a moment, thinking. "It feels like it does. I mean, it feels like all of the good days were lies, and this is what I am stuck with, and I am disappointed in myself, because I do not know how to stop thinking this way." Ziva told him.

Tony nodded but stayed quiet, giving her the chance to say something else.

"I am just scared right now. Logically, I know it will pass, but until it does, I do not feel like myself, and all I want to do is curl up and cry." Ziva finished.

Tony kissed her forehead softly. "You can do whatever you need to Zi. I'll be right here."

Ziva nodded against his chest. "I know you will." She said softly as tears fell onto Tony's chest.

XXXXX

"We should probably get out." Ziva said as Tony drained the cool water out of the bath tub for the third time.

Tony kissed her forehead. "We don't have to if you don't want to." He told her.

Ziva smiled and brought her hand up for Tony to see. "I look like a raisin." She told him.

Tony held her hand. "Yeah, you do." He said, laughing lightly. "You want something to eat?" He asked.

Ziva nodded. "Yes please." She said as she started to push herself off the floor of the tub. She stepped out onto the cushy bath mat and grabbed her towel and handed Tony his as he stood up.

They dried themselves off fairly quickly and tossed the towels into the laundry hamper. Ziva let her hair down from the pony tail Tony put it in and began to brush it out. Tony stepped behind her and took the hair brush out of her hands.

"Here." He said as he ran the brush through her hair gently.

He pressed a kiss to her shoulder when he was finished and put the brush down on the counter as he wrapped his arms around Ziva.

"Bedroom or living room?" He asked.

"Living room." She told him.

Tony kissed her neck softly and stepped back, taking her hand to lead her to the couch. Ziva followed him closely.

She sat down in front of him when they reached the couch. Tony wrapped his arms around her. She turned onto her side and nuzzled into him, shivering.

"You cold?" Tony asked.

Ziva nodded. "A bit."

Tony grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch and draped it over them, making sure it wasn't too tight around either of them.

"Can I tell you something stupid?" Ziva asked quietly.

Tony nodded. "Yeah."

Ziva laid silently for a moment. "I miss sex." She mumbled. "I miss it, but I'm too scared to…" She trailed off quietly.

"That isn't stupid Zi. It makes sense." Tony said.

"I am glad it makes sense to you, because it does not to me." Ziva said.

Tony nodded. "Okay, well think about it for a minute. When we first met, you were one of the most sexual people I'd ever met."

Ziva laughed lightly. "What do you mean?" She asked.

Tony shrugged. "It just kind of… oozed out of you. The way you carry yourself, you could just tell that you knew you were attractive, and you knew you were great in bed." He said.

Ziva smiled. "I'm sure you enjoyed that thought."

Tony chuckled. "I absolutely did." He told her. "And when we were undercover… naked in bed… you knew what you were doing to me. And ever since then, it's never been a secret that you enjoy sex. You enjoy it because it feels good, and you miss it because you enjoy it." Tony said.

Ziva nodded. "I just feel… I suppose confused is the right word, because one minute I can feel perfectly fine, and want it, but sometimes when I think about it for a little while, all I see is Saleem, and I am terrified all over again." She told him.

Tony nodded. "It's scary." He said simply.

Ziva nodded against him.

Tony kissed her forehead softly. "When you're ready, you'll know. And even if it takes me a little bit longer to get there, I will be ready eventually… and I'll be here to help you deal with it."

XXXXX

"You can stay here if you want to." Tony said as Ziva put the car in park. "I'll be okay, I don't want to stress your brain any more than it is today." He told her.

Ziva reached out to hold his hand. "I will be fine Tony." She told him.

Tony nodded. "Alright, let's go then."

They stepped out of the car and started toward the building. Ziva reached for Tony's hand and he took it, pulling her close to him as they walked. He knew she still wasn't really okay, even if she told him that she felt better before they left her apartment.

Tony held the door open for her and she led him down the hall toward the elevators. She hit the call button and the doors slid open immediately. The couple stepped into the elevator and waited a few moments for the doors to open again on the third floor.

Tony led Ziva over to the loveseat in the waiting area and sat down beside her, holding her hand tightly, mostly for her support, but a bit for his own.

They sat for a few minutes before the office door opened and ADA Jordan stepped into the waiting room.

"Agents, please come in." Jordan called to them.

Tony and Ziva stood and made their way across the room. Jordan closed the door behind them and they sat around the glass table in the middle of the room.

"Alright agent DiNozzo, there are just a few things I want to go over, and make sure you know." Jordan said.

"I have testified before." Tony told him.

Jordan nodded. "Not about your own assault." He objected.

Tony sighed. "Yeah, I guess." He said.

Jordan nodded. "So, I'll be the first to question you, and all I want you to do is tell your story, okay?" He asked.

Tony nodded. "Okay."

"Of course, the defense will have the chance to cross-examine you, but I'll be right there making objections if he gets too far out of line." Jordan told them.

Tony nodded. "Okay."

"Now, when you're on the stand, I want you to look either at the person questioning you, or at the jury at all times, alright?" Jordan asked.

Tony nodded. "I can do that."

"Alright, we just want to make sure that nobody thinks you're looking into the gallery or at the defendant to take cues from them and say what they want you to." Jordan said.

Tony's grip tightened a bit around Ziva's hand, and he felt her grip tighten in response.

"Is it alright if I ask you a few questions now, agent DiNozzo?" Jordan asked.

Tony nodded. "Yeah, sure."

Jordan nodded and grabbed his legal pad, which had all of his questions.

"Alright agent DiNozzo, what happened on the night you were assaulted?" Jordan asked.

Tony took a deep breath. "I had the night off work, so I decided to go out and have some fun." Tony said. "I got into a fight at a bar, and everyone involved was kicked out, so I decided to go home."

"Had you been drinking?" Jordan asked.

Tony shook his head. "No, I just wanted to dance."

Jordan nodded. "What happened after you decided to go home?" He asked.

"I was unlocking my car, and I was grabbed from behind by two men."

XXXXX

"Alright Tony, thank you for coming to see me today, you'll be great." Jordan told Tony as he and Ziva were getting ready to leave the office.

Tony nodded. "I hope so." He said.

"I'll see you Monday morning at the courthouse at ten o'clock. You're first on the list." Jordan said.

Tony took a deep breath. "Alright… thank you." He said awkwardly as he and Ziva walked toward the elevator.

Tony hit the call button and leaned against the wall, waiting. Ziva stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him.

"I love you." She told him.

Tony pulled her close to him. "I love you too Zi." He told her as the elevator dinged, signaling its arrival.

They stepped into the elevator, standing as close to each other as they could get. The doors slid open on the main floor and they walked toward the exit.

"Your place or mine?" Ziva asked, looking up at Tony.

"Yours." He said simply.

Ziva nodded. "Alright."

XXXXX

Ziva turned off the lamp on her bedside table, bathing the room in darkness. She laid down and snuggled into Tony.

"I am so proud of you." Ziva told him softly.

Tony looked down at her. "For what? I didn't do anything."

Ziva nodded. "Yes, you did. You told someone what happened to you, and you got yourself help, and now you are making sure that they will not ever be able to hurt anyone else again."

Tony shrugged. "I wouldn't have done it without you. I couldn't have." He told her honesty.

Ziva tilted her head to kiss his neck softly. "Yes, you could have, but I am glad I was here to help you."

Tony nodded, pulling her close to him. "I am too."


	8. Chapter 8

_I have no idea why this didn't post when I tried to post it last night, so sorry about that. This is definitely a bit of a shorter chapter, but I felt like I needed to write a chapter that wasn't going to be so technical with legal crap, which is what the next few chapters will be… anyway, I'll update as soon as I get it written – Tony testifies first in the next chapter so get ready! Enjoy chapter eight until then!_

 _ **Eight**_

"Are you having second thoughts?" Ziva asked while they were washing dishes Sunday night.

Tony shrugged as he dried a plate. "I don't know… it's hard to explain." He told her.

Ziva nodded. "You are scared?" She asked.

Tony nodded. "Terrified." He said quietly.

Ziva took the last plate out of the sink and began to scrub it. "It is okay to be scared Tony. Just do not look at him, you do not have to. Look at Jordan, or at the jury like he said, and everything will be okay." She said.

"I know… what if he wins?" Tony asked.

"He will not win, Tony. There is no way that will happen." Ziva told him firmly. She handed him the last plate to dry and put away and she dried her hands off.

She waited for Tony to put the plate in the cabinet before she wrapped her arms around his waist. She kissed his cheek softly.

"If it helps at all, I will be waiting right outside the courtroom when you are finished, and we can just go straight home after. Jordan will keep us updated." Ziva said.

Tony relaxed against Ziva. "I know… I want to do it, because it's the right thing to do…"

"But?" Ziva asked.

"What if… I don't even know, what if I get up there and I say something that I can't take back? And how many people are gonna be there? It's a public trial, they'll all find out who I am, and what I do, and what if my name gets out?" He asked quickly, his mind racing.

Ziva brought her hand up to play with the hairs at the nape of his neck lightly.

"D.C. has rape shield laws Tony, most of the media here will not release your name unless he is found not guilty." Ziva assured him.

"And what happens if he's found not guilty? Am I just supposed to be the big tough cop who said he was raped just because he couldn't defend himself?" Tony asked. He was starting to panic.

Ziva lifted her head off Tony's shoulder and her hands came around to cup his cheeks firmly, forcing him to look into her eyes.

"Take a deep breath." She ordered. "Now."

Tony did as he was told.

"Listen to me when I say, that unless every single piece of evidence is somehow contaminated between now and tomorrow, he will not be let go. They found his semen on you Tony, inside of you, your injuries… they will not be let go." She told him firmly, wiping a few tears off his cheeks.

Tony nodded. "I'm sorry." He said softly.

Ziva kissed his cheek. "You do not have anything to be sorry for love. Not one thing. I know this is hard for you, but I am so proud of you Tony. You have no idea how amazed I am at your strength through all of this… you're incredible." She said honestly.

Tony hugged Ziva tightly. "I love you."

Ziva smiled. "I love you too Tony."

Tony kissed her forehead softly. "Thank you."

Ziva smiled, pulling out of the hug. "Come on, let's go watch a movie." She said, taking his hand.

Tony followed her into the living room and walked over to the shelf of movies. He laughed as he pulled 'Mr. & Mrs. Smith' off the shelf and held it up for Ziva to see.

"Good enough?" He asked.

Ziva nodded, and Tony put the movie into the DVD player.

XXXXX

Tony's eyes opened, and he picked up Ziva's phone off the coffee table. He hit a button and the screen lit up, telling him it was two in the morning. The TV screen was still on, and the DVD menu was scrolling silently.

He lifted his head off of Ziva's chest and sat up.

"Zi." Tony said, shaking Ziva's shoulder gently.

Ziva's eyes snapped open and she sat up quickly. "What? Are you alright?" She asked.

Tony nodded. "I'm fine, we fell asleep on the couch." He told her.

Ziva looked around at her own living room and realized that he was in fact right.

"I figured a decent night's sleep in a real bed would probably be best for tonight." Tony said.

Ziva laughed lightly. "Fair enough." She said as she stood up.

She held her hand out to him. Tony pulled himself off the couch and turned the TV off.

"Are you showering tomorrow morning?" Ziva asked.

Tony nodded. "Yeah, I was planning to, why?" He asked.

"What time do you want the alarm set for?"

Tony shrugged. "Seven I guess. Give myself time to shower and eat something… well maybe not eating, that doesn't seem like a great idea."

Ziva pulled back the blankets on the bed and laid down on her side. "You should eat something Tony." She told him.

Tony laid down beside her and wrapped his arms around her. "I know… we'll see tomorrow, if I'm too nervous I can't eat." He said.

Ziva kissed his forehead. "Alright. Try and get some rest." She said.

Tony nodded. "At least after tomorrow I don't have to go back. Like I can just know it's going on without having to be scared about my part in it."

Ziva smiled a bit. "That is true. You still have an appointment with Paige tomorrow afternoon right?" She asked.

Tony nodded. "Yeah, at three, why?"

"Just making sure." Ziva told him.

Tony nodded against her chest, his eyes starting to close again. He was exhausted from being constantly worried.

Ziva rubbed his back softly. "Sleep." She told him.

Tony nodded silently and allowed his exhaustion to overcome him.

Ziva laid awake, running circles over his back with her hands for at least an hour. She wanted to make sure he was asleep and okay before she closed her eyes.


	9. Chapter 9

_Here's chapter 9! Sorry it took so long! I took a break over the holidays… anyway, I'm back, enjoy chapter 9!_

 _ **Nine**_

When the alarm startled Tony and Ziva awake the next morning, their eyes opened simultaneously, and a look of fear and dread creeped into both of their features.

They laid together silently for a few minutes before Ziva spoke.

"We should get ready." She said softly.

Tony nodded. "I know." He told her quietly. He didn't move.

Ziva propped herself up on her elbow, looking down at Tony. "Come on love, you need to shower and eat." She said, reaching out to run her hand over his chest.

Tony reached up to hold her hand. "I don't know if I can do this." He told her.

Ziva leaned down to kiss his cheek softly. "You can Tony. I know you can." She said. "And it will be just like you practiced with Jordan."

"Yeah, until cross… what if I freeze? Or have a panic attack? Or -"

Ziva cut him off. "Then Jordan will get you a break, and you will be able to calm down.

Tony nodded silently. "I'm scared to see him." He mumbled.

Ziva squeezed his hand. "You do not even have to look at him Tony."

Tony closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to convince himself to get out of bed. He sat up slowly.

"I'm gonna shower." He said quietly.

Ziva sat up behind him. She wrapped her arms around him from behind and kissed his shoulder lightly.

"Yell if you need anything." She reminded him.

Tony nodded. "I will."

XXXXX

Tony watched himself in the mirror as he buttoned his jacket at his waist and reached for his tie on the dresser. He tossed it around his neck and pulled his collar up with shaky hands.

"Tony we have to go, we are going to-" Ziva stopped mid-sentence when she entered the bedroom and found Tony trying, and failing to tie his tie.

She stepped closer to Tony and reached out to hold his hands. He turned toward her and let her pull his hands away from the tie.

"I like it." Ziva said, referring to the blue tie Tony had picked out. "It shows honesty."

Tony nodded silently as Ziva's skilled fingers tied his tie. She tucked the tie into his jacket and stepped back, smiling at her work.

Ziva took hold of Tony's hand gently and kissed his cheek. "It will all be over soon Tony." She promised.

Tony nodded. "We should go." He mumbled.

Ziva squeezed his hand and offered a small smile before she turned and led him out of the apartment.

XXXXX

"Had you been drinking?" ADA Jordan asked as he stood between Tony and Max Clemens.

Tony shook his head. "No, I just wanted to dance, have fun." Tony told him.

Jordan nodded. "Alright, tell us what happened after the fight in the parking lot."

Tony took a deep breath. "I remember walking to my car, and then someone's hands were on my shoulders, and my legs were kicked out from under me."

"What happened next?" Jordan asked.

Tony clasped his hands together tightly below the ledge of the witness box. "I was dragged behind the bar, by the dumpsters, and I was thrown to the pavement… one of them held me down while the other one took my clothes off."

Jordan rested his hand on the edge of the witness stand, making sure he was blocking Tony's view of Clemens when he asked Tony to describe what happened next.

Tony's eyes closed for a moment, he was trying to calm himself.

"The one who took my clothes off… he raped me, anally." He said, struggling to get the last part out.

"How long did the assault last agent DiNozzo?" Jordan asked gently.

Tony shrugged. "I remember the song changed in the bar two or three times… probably about ten minutes."

"Who found you?" Jordan asked.

"I was told it was two Metro P.D. officers, but I don't remember. I was held down so tightly, and my head hit the pavement a few times… I lost consciousness." Tony said.

"What's the next thing you do remember?" Jordan asked.

"I woke up in the hospital about an hour after I was taken in. I remember waking up and immediately wishing I hadn't, I was in so much pain." Tony told the courtroom sadly.

Jordan nodded. "Can you tell us what injuries you sustained?"

"I had a concussion, a black eye, a cracked rib, scrapes and cuts from the pavement, and I was covered in bruises." Tony remembered.

Jordan walked back over to the prosecution's table and picked up a remote.

"I noticed that some of the bruises were more severe than others. Would it be alright with you if I show the court some of the photos that were taken of your injuries?" Jordan asked, stepping back toward Tony.

Tony nodded. "It's fine."

Jordan flicked the large screen that faced the jury on.

"I would like to enter into evidence State's Exhibit A through F, Your Honor." Jordan said as he handed paper copies of the photos to the judge.

The judge nodded. "Very well mister Jordan." He said simply.

Jordan put the photos back down on his table and walked back toward the screen.

"Agent DiNozzo, can you tell us how your eye was injured like this?" Jordan asked.

Tony nodded. "When I was forced to the ground… obviously they weren't gentle. I hit my head on the pavement." He said.

"And you also had a concussion." Jordan repeated.

Tony nodded. "Yes."

"What about these bruises?" Jordan asked, clicking through to the next slide.

"The ones on my shoulders were from being held down by Ethan Marshall, the second attacker." Tony said.

"So those are his handprints?" Jordan asked for clarification.

Tony nodded. "Yes."

"What about the strip across the back of your neck?" Jordan asked.

"It was a belt. And it was there to keep my head down. It makes it harder to flight back. If you can't move your neck, you can't really move anything else." Tony stated.

"What about this bruise on your back?" Jordan asked.

"I tried to get up, and I was kneeled on." Tony told him.

Jordan clicked through to the next set of photos.

"These were from being taken down by your car, is that correct?" Jordan asked.

Tony nodded. "Yes, they must've really wanted me to go down… I've never been kicked that hard on the back of the knees before."

Jordan nodded. "I know that this is difficult agent DiNozzo, but there's only one set of pictures left. Can you tell me what happened here?" He asked.

Tony looked up at the screen, and even though he knew what pictures he would see, he was still startled.

"Those were on my inner thighs… from the actual rape itself, I remember feeling his knees… It hurt more than anything I've ever felt in my life. Getting shot didn't hurt as badly as what they did to me." He said quietly.

"Do you remember your attackers leaving, agent DiNozzo?" Jordan asked.

Tony shook his head. "No. I lost consciousness." He said simply.

"And the next thing you remember is waking up in the hospital?" Jordan asked.

Tony nodded. "Yes."

"And in the hospital you disclosed your assault to your co-worker, Special Agent Ziva David, correct?" Jordan questioned.

Tony nodded once more. "Yes, I did, and I consented to a SANE exam as well."

Jordan walked back over to his table and flipped through his notes for a moment.

Tony tried his best to not look at Clemens. He tried to keep his eyes focused on Jordan, or the jury, like he had been told, but he could see Clemens out of the corner of his eye staring at him, like he was daring him to look. He closed his eyes and tried to take a deep breath as his hands clenched tighter under the witness stand.

Tony snapped back to attention when he realized Jordan was standing back in front of him.

"Are you alright, agent DiNozzo?" Jordan asked calmly.

Tony nodded. "I'm fine."

"Alright." Jordan said. "I understand that after you were released from the hospital you worked with co-workers to produce sketches of your attackers, correct?"

"Yes." Tony said simply.

"And this was the result? This is the man who assaulted you?" Jordan asked as the picture on the screen flipped to reveal the computer-generated likeness of Max Clemens.

Tony nodded. "Yes it is." He told him surely.

Jordan nodded. "And do you see the man who assaulted you in the courtroom today?" He asked.

Tony took a deep breath, nodding. "Yes. He's right over there, wearing a grey jacket with a red tie." Tony said as he looked over at Clemens stiffly.

Jordan nodded. "Let the record reflect that the victim has acknowledged the defendant, Maxwell Clemens as his assailant." He announced before turning back to Tony. "Thank you for your time agent DiNozzo. I know it's been difficult."

Tony nodded silently and watched as Jordan walked back toward his table. "Your witness." He announced to the defense attorney.

Scott Lincoln stood up and walked toward Tony.

"This won't take long agent DiNozzo, I just want to clear a few things up for the jury." Lincoln said.

XXXXX

Ziva had begun pacing back and forth outside the courtroom the minute the bailiff had called Tony inside.

She knew all of the questions that Jordan was going to ask him, and she was sure he could handle those without a problem. It was Scott Lincoln getting to question him that she was worried about.

When Jordan had walked Tony through some of the questions that he would have asked during cross on his case, Tony panicked. It hadn't taken her long to calm him down in Jordan's office, but she had a feeling that answering those questions in front of an open courtroom, and his attacker wouldn't go over well.

XXXXX

Lincoln had been picking Tony's story apart for the better part of forty minutes when he decided to take his approach in a different direction.

"You're a solid agent. One of the best in your agency, I've heard. You've closed hundreds of cases, led dozens of investigations, arrested more suspects than I bothered to count…"

Jordan interrupted. "Objection." He stated calmly. "Is there a question in there somewhere?" He asked.

Judge Anderson nodded. "He's got a point mister Lincoln."

Lincoln nodded. "Of course. I was just wondering how a fantastic agent such as yourself could be taken down by an untrained man off the street."

Tony could feel himself starting to get a bit shaky, more from anger than fear.

"I was attacked from behind and overpowered. It's hard to fight back when you've got your arms pinned behind your back and your legs kicked out from under you." Tony deadpanned.

Lincoln nodded. "Mhm… overpowered, tell me, were you still feeling overpowered when you had an orgasm?"

Tony's mouth dropped open.

Jordan jumped up from his chair. "Objection! -"

He didn't get a chance to finish his sentence before Lincoln interrupted.

"Withdrawn… no further questions." Lincoln said before he sat back down beside Clemens.

"You may step down agent DiNozzo." Anderson told Tony. He turned to look at Lincoln. "I want you in my chambers at lunch."

Tony smiled slightly and looked over at Jordan when he saw Lincolns face go white as he walked out of the courtroom.

XXXXX

Ziva's head snapped up when she heard the large doors of the courtroom open. Tony emerged a second later looking pale and shaky.

Ziva reached out to him immediately and wrapped her arms around him tightly. Tony's arms snaked around her waist and he buried his face in her hair.

"I am so proud of you Tony." Ziva told him, kissing his cheek.

They stood in the foyer for long minutes, holding each other, taking comfort in each other.

"I wanna go home." Tony finally mumbled.

Ziva nodded and reached to take his hand. "Come." She said gently.

Tony nodded silently and allowed Ziva to lead him through the maze that was the courthouse and out to her car.

XXXXX

"What do you want to do?" Ziva asked softly as she shut the apartment door behind them.

Tony shrugged. "Change out of these clothes first… and then… can you just hold me for a little while?" He asked in a small voice.

Ziva nodded. "Of course. Go change and I will make us some tea, how does that sound?"

"Chamomile?" Tony asked.

Ziva nodded. "Sure." She said as she toed her shoes off.

Tony turned to go change his clothes and Ziva walked into the kitchen to turn the kettle on.

"Hey Zi?" She heard Tony call from the bedroom.

"Yes?" She called back as she set out two mugs.

"Can you come help me?" Tony asked.

Ziva set the cups down on the counter and walked down the hallway into the bedroom, where she found Tony trying to get his tie undone.

"What in hell kind of Half Windsor is this?" Tony asked, pulling at the tie knot.

Ziva laughed lightly as she stepped toward Tony. "It is not a Half Windsor." She told him as she took hold of the tie and pulled the knot free quickly.

Tony smiled as he watched Ziva undo the knot and slide the tie off his neck. "You're good at that." He told her.

Ziva nodded. "I used to do this for Ari when he was young." She told him as he began to unbutton his shirt.

She stepped away from him and turned to root through her dresser to find a satisfactory pair of sweats and a tank top for herself.

"I just washed your grey pants." Ziva told Tony, pointing to the bottom drawer of her dresser. "I know they're your favorite."

Tony smiled as he bent over to get the pants. "Thank you." He said softly as he watched her pull her clothes on.

He pulled his grey sweats on and flopped unceremoniously onto the bed. Ziva joined him a moment later, wrapping her arms around him as he laid his head on her chest.

"I am so proud of you Tony." She repeated her statement from earlier.

Tony shrugged. "You gotta do what you gotta do I guess." He said simply.

"How do you feel?" Ziva asked.

Tony thought for a moment. "I got through cross the best I could… I just hope I didn't screw it up."

Ziva kissed his forehead softly. "Did you tell the truth?" She asked.

Tony nodded. "Of course."

"Then that is all that matters."


	10. Chapter 10

_**Ten**_

"Gibbs and Abby are testifying today?" Tony asked as they were preparing breakfast the following morning.

Ziva nodded without looking up from the mango she was dicing. "And Sarah." She told him.

Tony winced. "They're probably gonna see more pictures aren't they?"

Ziva shrugged. "Jordan will only show what you told him was alright." She reminded him.

Tony nodded. "I know… what if Lincoln says something else about…" He trailed off.

Ziva smiled. "He won't. Not after Anderson called him into chambers yesterday."

"How did you know about that?" Tony asked in disbelief.

Ziva laughed lightly. "I have friends in the courthouse who like to gossip." She told him. "And besides, even if he does try to, it doesn't matter. Sarah will tell them that it's normal. Just a physiological reflex, like a sneeze."

Tony nodded. "I guess." He said as he handed her the bowls.

Ziva filled the bowls with fruit and handed Tony a fork. "We can just stay here and relax today." She told him as they walked into the living room to eat.

Tony sighed as he sat down on the couch.

Ziva sat down beside him and leaned over to kiss his cheek lightly. "Try not to worry Tony. Jordan is the best prosecutor in the district, and Sarah, Abby, and Gibbs all know what they're doing." She told him.

Tony nodded. "Alright." He said before digging into his breakfast.

XXXXX

"What happened when you were paged to the Emergency Room?" Jordan asked as he leaned against his table.

"I was paged and asked by one of the doctors to perform an exam on agent DiNozzo." Sarah told him.

"What does this exam entail exactly, miss Lawson?" Jordan asked.

"Well, it's technically evidence collection, so I scraped and clipped agent DiNozzo's fingernails, swabbed for DNA, took blood for a drug and alcohol screen, and to test for and STD's he could have been exposed to. I also took photos of and documented his injuries." Sarah listed.

Jordan nodded. "And what were your findings of this exam?"

"Agent DiNozzo had numerous contusions all over his body, the worst of which were on his back and neck. There were abrasions on his hands, knees, and chest, and some minor anal tearing." Sarah recalled.

"These are all common injuries for sexual assault victims, correct?" Jordan asked.

Sarah nodded. "Yes, sadly I see it all the time." Sarah told him.

Jordan nodded. "And the drug and alcohol tests came back clear?"

"Yes, agent DiNozzo was perfectly sober the night of his attack." Sarah told him.

"What about STD's?" Jordan asked.

Sarah shook her head. "Thankfully our first test was negative, and we've taken blood from agent DiNozzo twice since then to be sure, and the results are still coming back negative."

"That's definitely a good thing. Now let me ask you, what would you say that agent DiNozzo's mental state was like during the exam?" Jordan asked.

Lincoln rolled his eyes. "Objection, Your Honor, it's speculation, there's no way the witness could-"

He was cut off. "SANE Nurses are trained to deal with the psychological evidence surrounding sexual assaults as well as the forensic aspects, mister Lincoln, I suggest you do your homework." Anderson told him firmly. "Continue please, mister Jordan."

Jordan had to bite his lip to stop himself from laughing as he listened to Lincoln getting shot down.

"If you could miss Lawson, how would you say agent DiNozzo's mental state compared to this situation?" Jordan asked.

Sarah thought for a moment. "He was terrified, honestly. Which is what I see with a lot of survivors. This exam is one of the most terrifying things that someone could go through during their lifetime. Many people say it's like being assaulted all over again." She told the court.

Jordan nodded. "I can see how it could be traumatizing." He said.

Sarah nodded silently. "Agent DiNozzo did his absolute best to keep his composure." She told him. "He was very brave, it was admirable."

Jordan walked back to his table and picked up his notepad slowly. He really didn't need to read his notes, he just wanted to get a look at Lincoln to try and shoot down whatever cross he thought he could offer.

Jordan looked back up at Sarah. "Would you say that you're an expert in your field miss Lawson? An expert on sexual assault?" He asked.

Sarah nodded. "Yes, sadly I am."

"And how long have you been a SANE nurse?" Jordan asked.

"About eight years." Sarah told him.

Jordan looked toward Lincoln.

"And in those eight years, how many of the patients that you have treated experienced involuntary orgasm?" Jordan asked.

"At least half, possibly a bit more." Sarah said.

"Were these patients male or female?"

"Both." Sarah stated.

"Can you explain to the court how this is possible? How could these people, who claim to have been raped, enduring something terrifying, could experience an orgasm?" Jordan asked.

Sarah nodded. "Of course. An orgasm isn't about what you do and don't like. It's a result of the body being manipulated in a way that creates a release of endorphins and hormones – an orgasm. It's like a reflex. If something comes flying at your face, your body is automatically going to avoid it, even if it's something harmless. It just happens naturally." Sarah explained.

Jordan glanced toward Lincoln and took great pleasure in seeing him slouched down in his chair looking defeated. Jordan had just ripped his entire cross examination out of his hands and used it to his own advantage.

"No further questions for this witness." Jordan announced, turning around to sit in his chair. "All yours." He told Lincoln.

Lincoln shook his head. "No questions for this witness." He mumbled.

XXXXX

Ziva ran her hand through Tony's hair gently as he laid in her arms on the couch. He had spent the morning pacing back and forth in front of the coffee table, trying to keep his mind away from the trial, and Abby and Gibbs testifying.

Tony let out an exhausted sigh. He opened his mouth to speak, but Ziva stopped him.

"Just rest love, Abby told you she would call after she finished." She told him softly.

Tony nodded silently and wrapped his arms around Ziva's waist. He turned his head so he could hear his girlfriend's calm, steady heartbeat underneath him.

Ziva kissed the top of his head softly and went back to playing with his hair. She was hoping she might be able to coax him to sleep, even if he only slept for an hour, it would be more than he had slept the night before.

After Tony testified, it seemed like he was woken up every fifteen minutes with a nightmare. But every time it happened, Ziva was right there to hold him and help bring him back, and he didn't know if he would ever be able to find the words to thank her for that.

If Tony had been anywhere close to sleep, he certainly wasn't when Ziva's phone rang loudly from the coffee table. Tony's head sprung off Ziva's chest and reached for the phone. He hit talk and pressed the speaker phone button.

"Hey Abs."

" _Hey Tony, how are you feeling?"_ Abby asked.

"I'm okay… how'd it go?" Tony asked.

" _It was fine Tony, from what I could tell nobody was really impressed with Lincoln's line of questioning… I wish I knew what Gibbs said to him earlier, he wasn't' in a very good mood."_ Abby told him.

Tony rested back against Ziva. "What did he ask you?"

" _He was trying to undermine the DNA match, because it was a familial match."_ Abby said.

Ziva scoffed. "And that familial match is already in prison. Clemens was the only viable option."

" _That's what I said, plus they have the sketch that Tony gave us."_ Abby reminded them.

"Who was the DNA match Abby?" Tony asked. Nobody had told him any of this before.

" _Umm, Clemens was adopted when he was four, the DNA matched the only living relative he has, Kevin Mitchell."_ Abby said.

Ziva watched closely as Tony's face turned white.

"What's wrong?" She asked gently.

Tony swallowed and looked up at her. "I arrested Kevin Mitchell in Baltimore, it was one of my last cases before coming to NCIS… it was my testimony that put him in prison…" He said softly.

" _That wasn't in his file."_ Abby said.

Tony nodded. "How deep did you look?" He asked.

Abby sighed. _"Not very. I looked at the prison visitor log to see if he had any frequent visitors, and Clemens showed up. And I checked his birth parents' records to see if they had any other children and after you guys arrested him I ran his DNA against the DNA in the kit. I didn't even look at Mitchell's arrest report."_ She admitted.

"It's payback." Tony muttered.

"What did he do?" Ziva asked.

Tony brought his hand up to rub his forehead. "He raped two fourteen-year-old girls. Left them for dead under bridges. I found the second one, her name was Alyssa… she died after I got her to the hospital." Tony told them.

Ziva wrapped her arms around him tightly. "That was not your fault Tony." She said softly.

Tony shrugged. "You said Clemens visited Mitchell in prison Abby?" He asked.

Abby nodded. _"Yeah, seven times in the last two months. I still have no idea how Clemens found him though."_

Tony sighed. "It doesn't even matter… thanks Abs, we'll talk to you later." He said quietly.

Abby nodded. _"Okay, love you both."_

That made both Tony and Ziva smile a bit.

"We love you too Abby." Ziva said before she pressed the end call button.

She turned back to look at Tony, who was leaning against the back of the couch with his hands covering his face. She laid back down beside him and reached out to try and take his hands off his face.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked softly.

Tony shrugged. "I don't care."

Ziva brought her hand up to caress Tony's cheek lovingly. "Yes, you do Tony. If you didn't it wouldn't have this effect on you."

Tony sighed. "A jogger found the first girl, Carrie, and she was taken to the hospital… she made it, I was the one who interviewed her, she remembered everything, which helped us, but it had to have been awful for her… she gave us every detail she could remember, and she testified against Mitchell at his trial without batting an eye." He told her.

"And Alyssa?" Ziva asked.

Tony sniffled. "She had been missing for about thirty-five hours when I found her. We got a call about some screaming under the railroad bridge. We got there and Mitchell was gone, and she was lying on the ground… barely conscious. She was having a hard time breathing, so I took her to the hospital. She died of a brain bleed in surgery… he hit her so hard that…" He trailed off.

"You didn't wait for the ambulance? You didn't have any backup?" Ziva asked.

Tony shook his head. "I was just finishing paperwork when the call came in, my partner was already gone for the night… the doctor told me I was right to take her, she had a better chance if she got there as fast as possible…" He told her.

Ziva kissed his cheek softly. "You are an amazing man, Tony." She told him.

Tony shrugged. "She said something to me when I picked her up… I remember her voice, but I have no idea what she said."

Ziva nodded. "You can't think about it too much Tony. It will drive you crazy."

"And now Mitchell just wants to screw with me, so he sends his brother to rape me? That doesn't make any sense." Tony said angrily.

Ziva wrapped her arms around him, pulling him closer to her. "It will not ever make sense to us Tony." She told him.

Tony nodded. "I just want this to be over." He admitted.

Ziva kissed his cheek. "It will be soon. Are you still alright with Abby coming over tomorrow to keep you company while I am at the courthouse?" She asked.

Tony nodded. "Yeah… I don't really wanna be alone." He told her.

Ziva nodded. "That's okay Tony." She reminded him.

XXXXX

"Are you nervous?" Tony asked as the couple settled into bed that night.

"About testifying?" Ziva asked.

Tony nodded. "Yeah."

Ziva shrugged. "A little. I do not want to mess it up." She told him honestly.

"How would you mess it up?" Tony asked.

"I do not want to say the wrong thing… cross always scares me a little bit because some lawyers word their questions in ways that are hard to understand." Ziva told him.

Tony turned off the lamp on the bedside table and held his arms open for his girlfriend.

"You'll do great." He told her softly.


	11. Chapter 11

_**Eleven**_

"My name is Ziva Channa David, and I am an NCIS Special Agent." Ziva said confidently.

Jordan stood up and walked around his table. "You were the agent who officially arrested the defendant, is that correct agent David?" He asked.

Ziva nodded. "Yes, I was. Agents Gibbs and McGee were there as well."

"So how did you find yourself out in the woods to arrest mister Clemens? What happened that day?" Jordan asked.

Ziva took a deep breath. "Agent McGee gave me the coordinates, where they thought mister Clemens was. I arrived at the house first and approached on foot." She said.

"By yourself?" Jordan asked.

Ziva nodded. "Yes."

"Why didn't you wait for backup, agent David?" Jordan asked.

"Because we did not know how long mister Clemens would remain in the house, if he was even there at all." Ziva told him.

Jordan nodded. "Alright, so you approach the house, what happened next?"

"I opened the front door and entered the house."

"Was mister Clemens inside?" Jordan asked.

Ziva nodded. "Yes, he was in the living room watching television. He turned and noticed me and asked me who I was. I told him."

"And what did mister Clemens do?" Jordan asked.

"He bolted out the back door. I went after him, through the woods behind the house." Ziva said.

"Obviously you caught him." Jordan stated.

Ziva nodded. "I actually lost sight of him, and he jumped me."

"You fought?" Jordan asked.

Ziva nodded again. "Yes, Clemens knocked my weapon out of my hands. He grabbed me, and I struck his hand and then his cheek. He managed to knee my stomach and throw me to the ground."

"What were your injuries agent David?" Jordan asked.

"I had a bruise similar to the one agent DiNozzo had on his back on my stomach. And my entire left side, from my ribs to my knee was bruised."

"Okay, so you're on the ground, how did you come to control mister Clemens?" Jordan asked.

"I was well trained." Ziva stated. "I got up and threw a punch and I kneed mister Clemens in the groin. He fell and I picked up my weapon."

Jordan nodded. "Had agents Gibbs and McGee arrived by this time?"

Ziva nodded. "Yes, they had just gotten there. I used agent McGee's handcuffs, and I read mister Clemens his Miranda Rights, and agents Gibbs and McGee transported him back to NCIS headquarters."

"Did you have any contact with mister Clemens after you handed him over to agent Gibbs at headquarters?" Jordan asked.

"No, I did not."

Jordan nodded. "Thank you agent David." He said. "No further questions."

Jordan turned and walked back to his chair and Ziva watched closely as Scott Lincoln lumbered toward the witness stand.

"Agent David, why did you use agent McGee's handcuffs to arrest my client?" Lincoln asked.

"Because I did not have my own." Ziva told him.

"Why not? Were you not on duty?" Lincoln asked.

Ziva shook her head. "No, I wasn't technically."

"Then how did you know where to find mister Clemens?"

"I was told by agent McGee." Ziva said.

"Why? Did he not think that he and agent Gibbs could handle the arrest?" Lincoln questioned.

"Of course, they could have. Agent McGee called to tell me because I am in a relationship with agent DiNozzo." Ziva told him.

"So, you wanted to arrest mister Clemens for what? Revenge? You wanted to get a few swings in before he was out of your sight again?" Lincoln asked, his voice getting louder with every question he shot at her.

Ziva did her best to keep her expression neutral and her breathing calm. She was about to open her mouth to respond when Jordan stood up from his chair.

"Objection! Your Honor, why is mister Lincoln treating the witness as hostile?" Jordan asked.

Judge Anderson nodded. "I have to agree with mister Jordan here, mister Lincoln, settle down."

XXXXX

Tony sighed as he flopped down onto the couch, opposite Abby. He ran his hand through his hair nervously.

"I wanna know what Lincoln's asking her." He told Abby.

Abby smiled sadly. "She'll tell you as soon as she gets home." She reminded him.

Tony nodded. "I know, I just… I don't know. I don't want her to have to face him." He said. He knew it didn't make any sense, but he also knew Abby would figure out a way to make it make sense.

"Lincoln or Clemens?" Abby asked.

Tony chuckled lightly. "Both… I didn't want any of you to have to face them." He told her sadly.

Abby reached out to squeeze his hand. "We aren't scared of them." Abby told him. "Especially not Ziva."

Tony nodded silently.

"She'll probably have to try really hard to find a reason not to hit him." Abby mused.

"She's protective." Tony said.

Abby smiled. "She has been since the day we met her. Of all of us… mostly you, but she protects the people she cares about. Even if they aren't her biggest fans." Abby remembered.

Tony nodded. "Yeah you two were an interesting relationship to figure out in the beginning." He said.

Abby laughed lightly. "I didn't want her to replace Kate because I didn't want to forget her… it took me a bit to realize that nobody can replace a part of your family, but you can build on it."

Tony nodded. "Family first."

Abby nodded. "Exactly."

The two sat in silence for a moment before Abby let out a small laugh. "I wonder what Gibbs said to Lincoln when he got to cross. Lincoln looked like a kicked puppy when I walked into the room." Abby told him.

Tony chuckled. "Good. He's an ass. I'm sure he asked Gibbs the wrong question, and Gibbs put him in his place. Lincoln was called into chambers after my cross." He told Abby.

Abby's eyes widened. "Really? What did he do to be offered that pleasure?" She asked.

Tony sighed, running his hand through his hair again. "He asked a question that wasn't necessary or appropriate in the way he brought it up."

Abby nodded, understanding that Tony didn't really want to talk about it. "Good. I would've loved to have seen the look on his face."

Tony smiled. "Kicked puppy pretty much sums it up."

XXXXX

Ziva walked toward the elevator and hit the call button. She stepped back, waiting for the doors to slide open. She heard footsteps, and a voice creeped in behind her.

"Having a good time protecting your sweet little pansy agent David?"

Ziva's fist clenched and she swung around, one hand grabbing the man's throat, the other at his groin as she shoved him against the wall, not caring about the other courthouse visitors staring in their direction.

"Excuse me?" She asked angrily. She recognized him from the courtroom, he had been sitting on the defense's side of the gallery.

He seemed a little shaken by her actions, but still kept his voice steady as he said, "you heard me."

"Do you want to leave this building alive?" Ziva asked. "Because if you plan to ask me that one more time you better be sure your answer is no." She growled.

She held him there for a few minutes before she heard someone approaching with police officers.

"Is there a problem here?" One of the officers asked Ziva.

Ziva released her hold on the man's throat and groin. "No problem at all. He knows his mistake, and he will not make it again."

The officer nodded. "Are you sure ma'am?" He asked.

Ziva looked over the man carefully once more before she nodded. "Yes, I am sure." She said as she reached over to press the call button for the elevator again.

"Sir, why don't you come with us for a few minutes?" She heard the second officer speak as the doors slid open in front of her and she stepped into the elevator and took a deep breath.

She hated it when people snuck up behind her. She always had, but after Saleem and his men were so quiet… she didn't understand how they could be that quiet to her well-trained ears, managed to sneak up on her in that room time and time again.

The elevator doors slid open to reveal the courthouse lobby and she shook herself out slightly before she walked across the marble floors toward the parking lot.

XXXXX

Ziva opened her apartment door twenty-five minutes after she left the courthouse. She was thrilled to find Abby and Tony on the couch, talking animatedly about something she was sure she had never heard of.

They noticed her come in and waved briefly before going back to their conversation. Ziva slipped her shoes off and walked down the hall into the bedroom.

She changed her clothes quickly and walked back out into the living room. She sat down on the edge of the couch beside Tony and wrapped her arm around his waist gently. She turned to kiss his cheek softly.

Abby smiled brightly when she saw Tony's face light up when Ziva kissed his cheek.

"I missed you." Tony said quietly as he leaned into Ziva.

Ziva smiled a bit. "I missed you too."

"How'd it go?" Abby asked curiously.

Ziva sighed. "Jordan's questions were fine. Lincoln and his cross… ninety percent of his questions revolved around my motive for the arrest of his client."

"What was the motive?" Abby asked.

"According to Lincoln? Revenge. Can a law enforcement officer not just do something because it is the right thing to do? On duty or not?" Ziva asked.

Abby shrugged.

"It kinda was revenge Zi." Tony pointed out.

Ziva sighed. "I know, but that wasn't the entire situation. And just because I am in a relationship with you doesn't mean I wouldn't do the same thing for anyone else on the team." She retorted.

Tony smiled softly. "I know you would. I really don't think the jury is buying any of Lincoln's crap." He told her.

Ziva nodded. "I hope not."

"What else did he ask you?" Tony asked.

"It was honestly almost all about me not following protocol. I went in first, without backup, when I was technically off duty…" She trailed off. "Anderson was angry for a little while… apparently Lincoln felt that I was hostile, and he kind of started to question me like I was." Ziva told them.

Abby nodded. "Good. He's a prick." She stated bluntly.

Ziva nodded. "He is."

Abby grabbed her bag off of the coffee table in front of her. "I should get going, Wednesday is bowling day with the nuns."

Tony and Ziva smiled.

"Alright. I wanna hear the score." Tony said.

Abby stood up to hug them both. "You will. I'll see you guys later."

"Bye Abby." Ziva said as she watched the dark-haired scientist leave the apartment.

"Marshall testifies tomorrow and then defense presents their case." Tony stated.

Ziva nodded. "We do not have to go." She told him.

Tony nodded. "I know… I kind of want to though. I want to know what kind of asshole follows someone's lead in a rape." He said.

Ziva nodded. "Well let's just see how the rest of today and tonight go, and if you still want to in the morning we can."

Tony nodded. "Alright." He said simply. "Movie?" He asked.

Ziva nodded. "You pick it. I will go make popcorn." She told him.

Tony arched his neck to kiss her cheek softly. "Sounds good."


	12. Chapter 12

_Here's chapter 12, way earlier than I expected! Enjoy!_

 _ **Twelve**_

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Ziva asked as she parked her car outside the courthouse the next morning. Tony had managed to convince her that it would be good for him to go hear Ethan Marshall's testimony.

Tony nodded. "I have to Zi. I need to know." He told her quietly.

Ziva reached out to take his hand. "If it is too much, you tell me, and we leave. Alright?" She said.

Tony nodded. "I know, don't worry." He said, leaning over to kiss his girlfriend's cheek gently.

Ziva nodded. "Alright. We should go, we are late." She told him.

Tony took a deep breath and reached out to open his door.

The couple stepped out of Ziva's Mini and stood silently together for a moment, looking up at the large white building that awaited them. Ziva squeezed Tony's hand.

"Come on." She said softly as she started to walk toward the steps.

Tony followed her, slowly but surely. They stepped through the front doors into the large foyer and headed for the elevator.

The elevator doors slid open on the third floor and they stepped out. Ziva led Tony down the hallway toward the court room. They stopped once again outside the doors. They both took a deep breath, and Ziva reached out to pull the door open quietly.

They stepped into the courtroom and took two empty seats in the back of the gallery behind Jordan.

Nobody noticed them enter, they were too focused on the witness.

Tony gripped Ziva's hand tightly when his gaze landed on Ethan Marshall, the man who had held him down during his attack.

Marshall seemed to not have noticed them enter either, he was looking at Jordan.

"You took a dishonorable discharge, fifteen years in prison, and agreed to testify today to avoid a criminal trial. This criminal trial, in fact, is that correct?" Jordan asked.

Marshall nodded glumly. "Yes."

"So, you plead guilty and admitted in open court to the second-degree sexual abuse of NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo?" Jordan asked.

"Yes, I did." Marshall said.

Tony squeezed Ziva's hand, and the Israeli slid closer to him on the bench, wrapping one arm around his waist so she could rub his back gently.

"Are you alright?" She whispered.

Tony nodded silently, never taking his eyes off Marshall in the witness stand.

"And you had an accomplice in this crime?" Jordan asked.

Marshall shrugged. "Well, I believe I was the accomplice, but yes there was a second party involved."

"Who was that second party?" Jordan asked.

Marshall sighed. "The defendant. Maxwell Clemens."

"How do you know mister Clemens exactly?" Jordan asked.

"We were roommates in college, we stayed friends." Marshall told him.

"Fair enough, so mister Marshall, can you begin to walk us through the night of August twenty-first?" Jordan asked.

Marshall nodded. "I was with Max, and he told me that he had a friend who was going to pay him to make something bad happen to some cop, and he asked me if I wanted in."

Ziva could feel Tony starting to shake slightly and she tightened her grip on him, letting out a small sigh of relief when he leaned some of his weight into her.

"What did you take 'something bad' to mean?" Jordan asked curiously.

Marshall shrugged. "I thought we would just rough him up a bit, scare him." He told Jordan.

"What happened next?" Jordan asked.

"We followed agent DiNozzo from his house to Pyramid, on U Street, and we waited in the parking lot. We saw agent DiNozzo get into a fight in the parking lot… well not really a fight, the other guy ran off after one swing… Agent DiNozzo started walking toward his car, and Max went after him and I followed." Marshall told the court.

Tony stiffened when he heard that they had followed him from his house. Ziva looked over at him. His face was white, and he was bouncing his leg quickly to try and stop himself from running. She knew he wouldn't be able to go back to his apartment after hearing that. He wouldn't be able to feel safe there again.

"Why?" Jordan asked.

Marshall sighed. "I wanted the money… needed it actually… gambling debts." He mumbled.

Jordan nodded. "What happened next mister Marshall?" He asked.

"Max told me to grab him, and he kicked his legs out from under him. We dragged him behind the dumpster, and I held him down while Max kicked him." Marshall said.

"How did this situation go from beating up a cop to rape?" Jordan asked.

Marshall shrugged. "I really don't know. One minute Max was kicking agent DiNozzo, and the next, agent DiNozzo's clothes were ripped off and Max had his own pants down to his knees."

Tony took a deep breath.

"Why didn't you stop him?" Jordan asked.

Marshal sighed. "It was either do this and get paid, or don't do it and get my kneecaps busted." He stated bluntly.

Jordan nodded. "So while mister Clemens was raping a federal agent, a man, a person, you just held him down and watched?" He asked, turning to face the jury.

Marshall nodded. "Yes, I did, and I shouldn't have. I was a soldier, I should have held myself to a higher standard, and I am so sorry I didn't." He said, looking down at his hands in his lap as tears welled up in his eyes.

Ziva looked up at Tony when she felt some of the tension leave his body, and he relaxed a bit. She pulled Tony close to her as she watched him watch Marshall.

"What happened after mister Clemens finished?" Jordan asked.

Marshall took a deep breath. "He pulled his pants up, and we walked away, right down the street like nothing had ever happened." He told Jordan.

Jordan nodded. "Thank you for your honestly mister Marshall. I have no further questions." He announced to the court. "Your witness." He said to Scott Lincoln as he walked past his table.

Lincoln stood up and walked toward the witness stand.

Tony turned to look at Ziva. "Can we go?" He asked quickly.

Ziva nodded sharply and stood and, trying to draw the least amount of attention possible, she led Tony out of the courtroom.

As soon as the courtroom doors closed behind them and they were safely in the hallway, Tony bent over, resting his hands on his knees for support, like he had just tired himself out running a marathon.

Ziva stood beside him, rubbing his back gently.

"Are you alright?" She asked softly.

Tony nodded, taking a deep breath before standing up straight. "Yeah, let's just get out of here." He said.

Ziva reached for his hand, tangling their fingers together. "Alright." She said.

They started to walk toward the elevator when Ziva stopped short. Tony turned to look at her.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

She pulled him toward a bulletin board, positioning him so his face couldn't be seen.

"The man who is about to walk into the courtroom. Do you know him?" She asked quietly.

Tony waited for said man to walk behind them and he glanced over at him. He recognized him, he just wasn't sure from where.

"I think so… why?" He asked after he had entered the courtroom.

"He came at me when I was leaving yesterday." Ziva told him as she led him toward the elevator.

"He what?!" Tony asked, completely ready to turn around and go after him. "What happened? Are you okay?" He asked.

Ziva hit the call button for the elevator and turned to face Tony.

"I am fine." She told him. "Really it was no big deal. He said a few things and I put him in his place."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Tony asked as they stepped into the elevator.

"I meant to, but I didn't want to worry you." She told him.

"What happened?" Tony asked as the doors slid open on the main floor.

Ziva sighed. "It was really nothing Tony. He came up behind me, asked me if I was having fun protecting you… I think he called you a _pansy?_ " She said unsurely. She shook her head. "I pinned him against the wall, and security came. That's it. It was all over in less than a minute." She told him.

Tony squeezed her hand gently. "Tell me next time. I'm not worried, I know you can take care of yourself, I just want to know."

Ziva nodded. "Alright." She said, kissing Tony's cheek softly.

XXXXX

Tony walked out of the bedroom in his favorite sweats and sat down on the couch beside Ziva. Her arms opened to him and he leaned into her.

"I have a question for you." Ziva told him.

Tony looked up at her. "Shoot."

"Will you move in with me?" Ziva asked, biting her bottom lip nervously.

Tony looked surprised.

Ziva immediately tried to backpedal. "I mean, we have been practically living together for-"

Tony sat up a bit and pressed his lips her hers gently. "Yeah, I'll move in with you." He told her as he pulled away.

Ziva smiled. "Okay. We don't have to live here, it's kind of small for both of our things, we could find a bigger place." She told him.

Tony nodded. "I like your place." He told her. "And if we can't make it work, we can find something else."

Ziva kissed his forehead softly. "I love you."

Tony's grip around her waist tightened. "I love you too Zi."

Ziva smiled brightly and relaxed into the couch. The couple sat silently for a few minutes before Tony spoke.

"I want you to do something for me." Tony said softly.

Ziva looked down at him. "What?" She asked curiously.

"I want you to teach me to know if I'm being followed." Tony told her.

Ziva's brow furrowed. "You're a fantastic agent, Tony, you already know how to do that." She said.

Tony shook his head. "Not like you do…" He told her. "I'm scared Zi. They followed me… from my house, and I didn't even notice…" He said softly.

Ziva nodded. "Okay. I will teach you." She told him. She had absolutely no idea how to do it. She wanted to help him feel safe again, but she didn't want to make him paranoid about being followed.

"All it really is is being observant, aware of your surroundings." She started.

XXXXX

"I don't think I want to go back until the verdict is read." Tony admitted during supper that evening.

Ziva nodded. "That is perfectly fine Tony." She told him. "Do you remember who that man was?" She asked.

Tony sighed and shook his head. "No, I don't. I know I know him from somewhere though." He told her.

Ziva nodded. "It will come eventually." She reassured him.

Tony nodded. "I hope so. It's gonna bug me until it does."

"Just try not to think about it too hard, it might make it harder to remember." Ziva said.

"Yeah." Tony agreed. "My lease is up at the end of next month." He told Ziva.

Ziva smiled. "Does that mean I should be making room for your things?" She asked.

Tony laughed lightly. "Yeah." He said simply.

Ziva nodded. "Alright." She said, looking around her apartment. "Maybe we should look for a bigger place." She said after a moment.

"Are you sure?" Tony asked.

He knew he wanted to move in with Ziva, but getting a place together, having both of their names on the list was a big step. That wasn't to say he didn't want to take that step, they had known each other for five years now, and they knew each other better than anyone… yeah, actually, he did want to take that step. More than he had realized when she had offered the idea earlier in the day.

Ziva nodded. "Yeah. Both of our lives won't fit in here… I mean we will both have to cut out a few things, furniture and such…"

"Actually, you won't have to make room for my furniture." He told her, laughing lightly. "My apartment was offered furnished, and honestly, none of it is even close to comfortable." He told her.

Ziva laughed. "Well alright then." She said. She finished off the last bite of her rice and reached for Tony's already empty plate. "Are you done?" She asked.

Tony nodded. "Yeah, I'll do dishes." He told her, standing up.

"You wash, I'll dry?" Ziva said.

Tony smiled and reached his hand out to help pull her off the floor. "That works."


	13. Chapter 13

_**Thirteen**_

" _Clemens chose not to testify."_ Jordan told Ziva over the phone Friday afternoon.

Ziva nodded. "He's not a complete idiot." She said.

Jordan nodded. _"We're expected in chambers to discuss jury instructions after lunch, then it's closing arguments and we're finished."_

Ziva sighed. "That's good at least. How do you think it will play out?" She asked.

" _The jury knows he's guilty, I don't even know why he decided to go to trial, all we've done all week is bury him."_ Jordan told her.

"Good. He deserves it." Ziva said.

Jordan nodded. _"He does. Tell Tony not to be too worried, and I'll let you know when they've reached a verdict. They're going over the weekend so it shouldn't be too long."_

"Alright. Thank you." Ziva said before she hung up the phone.

She tossed her phone onto the empty couch cushion beside her, and looked up to see Tony drying his hair as he walked down the hallway toward her.

"Who was that?" He asked curiously.

"Jordan, they're finishing up today." She told him.

Tony sat down beside her. "I just want this to be over." He told her.

Ziva wrapped her arms around him and kissed his cheek softly. "It almost is Tony."

Tony leaned against Ziva. "I still have no idea who that guy is. I _know_ I know him, I just…" Tony trailed off.

Ziva nodded. "It is alright Tony, you do not have to remember, it is not a big deal." She told him.

Tony sighed. "I guess."

Ziva nodded. "Are we going to go hear the jury's verdict?" She asked, changing the subject slightly.

Tony nodded. "Yeah. I want to see his face when they say guilty." He told her. He wanted justice. Well, what he really wanted was revenge, but he figured that Clemens wouldn't fare too well in prison, so he was sure he would get his revenge.

Ziva nodded. "I understand that." She told him.

She glanced up at the clock on the wall.

"You should go get dressed for your appointment." Ziva said. Friday afternoon meant therapy with Paige for Tony.

Tony nodded and stood. "I'll be back." He said before he walked down the hallway to the bedroom.

Ziva walked over to the door and pulled her shoes on quickly before she reached up to grab the keys from off of the hook beside the door.

XXXXX

Tony sat down in the familiar, squishy armchair in Paige's office and waited patiently for her to get situated.

She opened her notepad and pulled a pen out of the cup on her desk.

"I haven't seen you this week." Paige stated. "How have you been? You testified on Monday, right?" She asked.

Tony nodded. "Yeah, I did."

Paige nodded. "How did it go?" She asked.

Tony sighed. "Alright I guess."

"Any panic attacks or anything before or after?" Paige asked.

Tony shrugged. "Not really panic attacks, I just kind of feel a little extra nervous." He told her.

Paige nodded, scribbling notes on her paper. "That's perfectly normal. How have the nightmares been?" She asked.

"It seems like they're worse now than they were before." Tony said.

"Do you want to talk about what happens in them?" Paige asked,

Tony shrugged. "I don't know… I really just… it's hard to explain. I relive it, but it's different every time."

Paige nodded. "That makes sense. Your brain is basically trying to figure out what happened. Like yes you remember it and everything, but your subconscious sometimes holds onto details that your brain doesn't even clue in on." She said.

Tony nodded. "They happen more often too. It went from one or two a night, and now I'm having four or five. And Ziva is always there, but I feel bad for waking her up so often." He said.

Paige nodded. "Have you ever told her that?" She asked.

Tony shook his head. "No."

"Why?" Paige asked.

Tony thought for a moment. "I don't really know… I know she doesn't think I'm a burden, and she loves me, and she wants to help, but I can't help feeling guilty for waking her up, especially if it's a night when she's had a nightmare." He told her.

Paige nodded. "Alright, how about at some point before I see you again on Monday, you tell her about this?" She asked.

Tony nodded. "I can try." He told her.

Paige nodded. "Alright. What else is bothering you?" She asked.

Toy sat silently for a moment. He wanted to tell her about the man Ziva had pointed out to him, but if he couldn't remember he didn't really see any point to it.

"What is it Tony?" Paige asked.

Tony shrugged. "There was a guy that kind of went after Ziva after she testified, she pointed him out to me when we went to hear Marshall testify, and she asked me if I knew him, and I'm sure I do, but I don't know where I know him from." He told her.

Paige nodded. "Could it have been someone you arrested?" She asked.

Tony scoffed. "Did you hear that that's why they did it?" He said, changing the subject unintentionally. "I arrested Clemens' biological brother, and he offered to pay him to make something happen to me." He told her.

Paige shook her head in disapproval. "I'm so sorry Tony." She said simply.

Tony nodded. "And they followed me from my house to the bar. They knew where I live, I don't even know how they could have known where I… I have to go." He said suddenly. He stood up and started toward the door.

"What happened, Tony?" Paige asked, following him into the waiting room where Ziva sat, stunned to see Tony barging through the door.

"I need to get to work." Tony told Ziva quickly.

"Are you alright?" She asked.

Tony nodded. "I know who he is, come on." He said, reaching for her hand. He turned to Paige. "I'll explain on Monday." He told her.

She nodded. "Alright, be careful!" She called as the two agents hurried out the door.

XXXXX

The elevator doors opened and Tony and Ziva walked toward the bullpen quickly.

McGee, Gibbs, and Hawkins all looked up from their paperwork when they stopped in front of Tony's desk.

"McGee can you get the service records for my building?" Tony asked.

McGee nodded and looked back at his screen, typing quickly.

"What's this about?" Gibbs asked.

"How they knew where I lived, and how I know they guy that went after Ziva when she testified." Tony told him.

"Who did what?" Gibbs asked, looking at Ziva.

Ziva shook her head. "It was nothing, I promise." She told him.

Gibbs nodded.

"Got it." McGee said triumphantly. "What am I looking for?"

"The company that they hired as security. They don't have a security booth or desk or anything, just guards that come in throughout the day… I'm really not sure what their purpose is, actually-"

McGee cut off Tony's rambling. "District Securities… just gimme a minute and I can… okay, there." He said, looking up at the plasma, where six driver's license photos were staring back at them. "These are all the employees who were assigned to your building in the last six months."

"Six months?" Hawkins piped up from the back of the room.

Ziva nodded. "It takes time to learn someone's schedule… it has never taken me six months, but I suppose not everyone likes efficiency." She told him before looking back at the screen. "Him." She said, pointing at the photo on the bottom left.

McGee pulled up his documents. "Aiden Lewis, thirty-four, lives in Dupont Circle." He said, scanning his computer screen quickly. "He graduated high school with Max Clemens." He announced.

"He's part of it… they were watching me…I didn't even notice…" Tony said softly, leaning back against his desk for support. Ziva reached for his hand and stepped closer to him.

"Let's go pick him up." Gibbs said shortly.

McGee and Hawkins grabbed their gear and hurried out of the bullpen. Gibbs walked slower, toward Tony and Ziva. He reached out to squeeze Tony's shoulder.

"You did good, Tony. I'm proud of you." The older man told him seriously.

Tony smiled a bit. "Thanks, Boss."

Gibbs let a rare smile peek through before he followed McGee and Hawkins out of the bullpen. "Go home, we'll keep you updated!" He called back to them.

Ziva kissed Tony's cheek lightly. "Come on, we do not want to be here when they bring him back." She said, remembering the mistake she had made with Clemens.

Tony nodded. "Yeah, you're right." He said softly, allowing Ziva to lead him toward the elevator.

XXXXX

"How did your session go? Minus the ending early part?" Ziva asked when Tony sat down on the couch with her that night.

Tony shrugged. "It was fine, we mostly just talked about the nightmares getting worse." He told her.

Ziva nodded. "I know it is hard on you." She said softly.

Tony nodded a bit. "I also told her that I would tell you something." He said quietly.

"What?" Ziva asked nervously.

"Just that I feel bad for waking you up so often." Tony said.

Ziva let out a small sigh of relief. "You do not ever have to feel bad about waking me up Tony." She reminded him.

"I know that that's how you feel, but some nights… it's like its every twenty or thirty minutes and if I'm going crazy, you must be feeling the same way." Tony said.

Ziva shrugged. "Can I ask you a question?" She asked.

Tony nodded. "Yeah."

"Would you wake up every twenty or thirty minutes for me?" She asked.

Tony nodded. "Yes." He said quickly.

Ziva leaned over to kiss him softly. "Then how is it different?" She asked. "I do it because I love you, Tony, and I want to know that you are alright, or at least as close to alright as you can be, considering the situation."

Tony nodded and he laid his head on Ziva's chest, listening to her steady heartbeat.

"Okay. I'll still probably feel bad about it, but I understand how you feel, and why you do it." He told her simply.

Ziva smiled, tightening her grip on Tony. "Do you want to move to a new apartment, one that nobody has seen you going in and out of?" She asked suddenly.

Tony shrugged. "I never even thought about someone watching me… it's scary." He said quietly.

Ziva sighed. "Exactly."

Tony thought for a moment. "I feel safe here." He told her.

Ziva nodded. "Alright. If that ever changes, you can tell me, and we can move. Anywhere you want." She told him firmly.

Tony nodded. "It'll be fine. I really don't think he was watching after… maybe… we won't ever know if we got them all…" Tony realized.

Ziva tightened her grip on him. "We got them all Tony, do not worry. And if we didn't, will keep you safe. I promise."

Tony nodded silently. "I wanna go to bed, but I don't want to have nightmares." He told her.

Ziva kissed the top of his head. "Why don't we go watch a movie in the bedroom? We can just cuddle?" She asked. "James Bond?" She asked, hoping it would distract him long enough to actually get a bit of sleep.

Tony nodded. "Alright." He said. He laid still for a moment before pushing himself off the couch and walking over to the collection of DVD's that was now a growing stack of both their favorites.

He grabbed the DVD off the shelf and followed Ziva into the bedroom. He reached to turn on the TV and jumped a bit when it came on before he pressed the button. He turned around to see Ziva smiling brightly, swinging the remote back and forth in her hand.

He laughed lightly. "You wanna play with the DVD player too?" He asked.

Ziva laughed and grabbed the DVD remote out of the nightstand, pressing the 'power' button and then the 'open' button.

"Why thank you, m'lady." Tony said jokingly, turning to bow toward Ziva.

This only made Ziva laugh harder. "You are very welcome my little hairy butt."


	14. Chapter 14

_Here's chapter 14! Also, I'm gonna make Saturday night my upload day so I have a bit more time to work on the chapters in between posts, so come back every Saturday night/Sunday morning for more!_

 _ **Fourteen**_

Tony sat down in Paige's office Monday morning feeling a bit lighter than he had on Friday.

Paige pulled Tony's file and her notes out and grabbed a pen.

"So, what happened Friday?" She asked curiously. She actually did want to know, she didn't just want to analyze.

"When Marshall testified, he said that they had followed me from my apartment, and I didn't know how they could have found out where I lived." Tony started. "And this one guy went after Ziva after she testified, and she asked me if I knew who he was. I finally remembered." He told her.

Paige nodded, genuinely interested. "Who was he?"

"He was hired as a security guard in my apartment building, he went to high school with Clemens." Tony said.

"Wow, that's crazy." Paige said honestly.

Tony nodded. "I didn't even notice him watching me."

"And that bothers you." Paige stated.

Tony nodded. "I was trained to watch, and to be observant… I can't believe I let them learn so much about me."

Paige nodded. "You can't watch everything all the time Tony. You're human."

Tony sighed. "I guess." He said. "Did I tell you that Ziva asked me to move in with her?"

Paige shook her head. "No, you didn't, when did that happen?" She asked.

"Thursday." He told her.

Paige nodded. "I'm assuming you said yes?" She asked.

Tony nodded. "Yeah… I want to, and I don't think I would be able to go back to my apartment after… I just can't."

Paige bit the end of her pen for a moment. "Do you want to live with her because you're scared to go back to your apartment, or because you genuinely want to live with her?" She asked slowly.

Tony sat silently for a moment, thinking. He looked back up at Paige.

"I won't feel safe in my apartment and that probably is part of it, but I want to live with her because I love her, and I want to be with her." He said confidently.

Paige smiled a bit. "That's great Tony." She told him.

Tony nodded.

"What about work?" Paige asked. "Have you given any thought as to whether or not you want to go back?" She asked.

Tony bit his lip. He actually didn't know.

"I know you still have a bit of time, with the concussion and everything, but you will be cleared eventually, so I was just wondering." Paige told him.

Tony nodded. "I don't know what I would do if I didn't go back." He told her. "I'm a cop, I've always been a cop, it's who I am."

"But?" Paige pushed.

"I don't know if I could be in that environment without panicking." Tony said.

Paige nodded. "That's perfectly normal Tony. It is an incredibly stressful environment, but you know what?" She asked.

Tony shrugged.

"You have a team of people willing to help you get back to where you were." Paige told him. "And you don't have to jump right back into the field. They definitely won't let you. But working from the office can be beneficial with PTSD."

Tony nodded. "Yeah, I guess." He said.

Paige smiled a bit. "You still have time to decide, Tony. Lots of it. And no matter what you decide, I'll be here to help you through it, and so will Ziva, and I'm sure the rest of your team will as well." She told him.

Tony nodded. "I do wanna go back." He said quietly.

Paige nodded. "Then we can work on getting you back on track for work, alright?" She asked.

Tony nodded. "Okay." He said.

Paige scribbled a few things on her notepad before looking back up at Tony. "So other than that, how has everything been? Nightmares, panic attacks? Worse or better?"

Tony shrugged. "They're pretty much the same as they have been." He told her.

"And did you tell Ziva what we talked about?" Paige asked.

Tony nodded. "Yeah, I did."

"And what did she say?"

"The same thing I knew she would, she told me that it wasn't a big deal and she doesn't mind because she loves me." Tony told her.

Paige nodded. "What about your friends?" She asked suddenly.

"What do you mean?" Tony asked.

"Do you still see you friends? Have you been isolating yourself? I know you have Ziva, but still, only having one person can be a bit scary." Paige said.

Tony shrugged. "I don't know… most of my friends are work friends, and since I'm not working we don't really see each other too much. Just a couple times since…" He trailed off.

Paige nodded. "I think it might help to be around people you care about, and who care about you, and Ziva too."

Tony nodded. "Yeah maybe."

"You don't want to keep to yourself too much Tony. If you do that, you might actually develop a sort of anxiety toward being around people. It might just stress your brain out a bit too much." Paige told him.

Tony nodded. "I guess that makes sense… I don't really know what to say to them though. I don't want them to see me any differently than they used to."

"Do you really think that they would?" Paige asked.

Tony took a deep breath, taking a second to sort out his thoughts and think them through.

"No. I don't think so." He said finally.

Paige nodded. "Why not start with something small? Invite them over for dinner one night and just try and have fun." She suggested.

Tony nodded. "I think I could do that."

Paige smiled a bit. "I'm proud of you, Tony." She told him seriously.

Tony looked puzzled. "For what?" He asked.

"You're always willing to try. I see a lot of people who aren't, and it makes me happy when they do. It means therapy is working." She told him.

Tony smiled a bit. "Thanks."

XXXXX

"Can we do something?" Tony asked as they got into Ziva's Mini.

Ziva nodded as she started the car. "Sure, what do you want to do?" She asked.

"Can we invite the team over for dinner one night? This week or next?" He asked. "Paige thinks friends might help."

Ziva looked up at him before she started to back out of her parking spot. "Of course we can."

"Maybe Wednesday or Thursday?" Tony asked.

Ziva nodded. "That could work. Why don't you text Abby and see if she can tangle everyone together? I'll cook." She said.

Tony smiled. "Wrangle." He said as he picked up his phone.

"I got most of it right." Ziva chuckled.

Tony looked down at his phone when it beeped, signalling Abby's reply.

"Do you think we could fit everyone in at your place?" He asked.

"Me, you, Gibbs, McGee, Abby, Ducky, and Jimmy?" She asked.

"And Breena." Tony corrected.

"I think we can, if a few of us don't mind sitting on the floor." Ziva said.

"Alright." Tony said, texting Abby back quickly.

"Wednesday works?" Tony asked.

Ziva nodded. "Sure. What time?" She asked.

"Five?" Tony suggested.

"Okay." Ziva said. "Remind me that we have to go grocery shopping tomorrow. There is no way I can make a meal for eight people with what's in the fridge." She told Tony.

XXXXX

Abby put her phone down on her desk and ran toward the elevator. She hit the call button and the doors slid open. She hit the basement button and waited for the doors to open outside of autopsy.

She stepped into the cold morgue. Both Ducky and Jimmy looked up from the body they were examining.

"Hey Abby." Jimmy said, smiling brightly. "What's up?"

"Tony and Ziva want us all to go over to Ziva's for dinner on Wednesday." Abby told them.

"I don't see why not." Ducky said.

Jimmy nodded. "Yeah, I'll go, and I'll see if Breena wants to go." He told Abby.

Abby nodded. "Okay. Wednesday at five." She said before turning around and the autopsy doors slid open.

She stepped out of the elevator a minute later and made her way toward the squad room. She stopped in front of Ziva's desk and Gibbs and McGee looked up from their paperwork.

"Abby?" McGee asked.

"Tony and Ziva want us to go to Ziva's Wednesday night." Abby said.

McGee nodded. "Sounds good. Should we bring anything?" He asked.

Abby shook her head. "I don't think so."

"What time Abs?" Gibbs jumped in.

"Five."

Gibbs nodded his agreement. "Ziva's cooking?" He asked.

Abby nodded. "Yep."

XXXXX

Tony toed his shoes off at the door and flopped onto the couch. "Ugh." He groaned.

Ziva smiled a bit as she walked toward him. She held out her hands to Tony and pulled him up so she could sit down behind him. He leaned back into her.

"We talked about going back to work." Tony told her.

"Are you going to?" Ziva asked.

Tony nodded. "I think so. I want to." He said.

Ziva tightened her grip around his waist. "It will take some time." Ziva remembered from her own experience.

"Yeah. I'm gonna wait until I have the next MRI though, obviously, doctor Roberts has to clear me." Tony said.

"You will go crazy on desk duty." Ziva said, laughing lightly.

Tony groaned. "I know." He said. "But I guess it'll have to do." He said.

Ziva nodded. "Do you think you want to go back into the field?" She asked.

Tony shrugged. "I want to, but I'm scared." He said.

"Of what?" Ziva asked.

"Not being able to protect myself." Tony told her.

"You are doubting your ability to fight?" Ziva asked.

Tony nodded. "Yeah, kind of." He said.

Ziva kissed his shoulder gently. "I could help you with that if you wanted." She told him.

Tony looked back at her, smiling a bit. "You'll show me some of your ninja moves?" He asked.

Ziva chuckled. "If you think it will help, then yes." She said.

Tony nodded seriously. "Thank you."

Ziva's grip tightened around his waist. "I love you." She said softly.

Tony smiled, leaning back against her. "I love you too."


	15. Chapter 15

_Okay, I know I said I was going to upload on Saturdays, but I finished this early, so I thought I might as well post it lol. This isn't going to be the last chapter, but it will be coming soon, and I have a third part planned too, so don't go anywhere! I think the next chapter might be the last one, but I'll definitely let you know! Anyway, enjoy chapter 15!_

 _ **Fifteen**_

Tony and Ziva startled awake the next morning when Ziva's phone began to ring loudly on the bedside table. She reached over and picked it up, and hit talk, not paying any attention to the caller ID.

"Hello?" She asked, groggy.

" _Agent David, it's ADA Jordan, the jury's reached a verdict_." Jordan told her.

Ziva sat up. "Alright." She said, waiting for him to speak.

" _Can you be at the courthouse for nine?"_ Jordan asked.

Ziva looked over at the clock on her bedside table; 7:55.

"Yes, we can." She told him.

Jordan nodded. _"I'll see you soon then."_

Ziva hit the end call button and put her phone back on the nightstand. She yawned and brought her hands up to rub her eyes.

"What was that?" Tony asked.

"It was Jordan, the jury is back." Ziva told him.

Tony tensed up. Ziva laid back down beside him, resting on her elbow. She reached out to hold Tony's hand.

"It will be okay Tony." She said, leaning forward to kiss his cheek softly.

Tony nodded stiffly. "What time do we have to be at the courthouse?" He asked.

"Nine." Ziva told him.

Tony looked over at the clock and groaned. An hour. He was hoping he would have a bit more time to prepare himself mentally.

Ziva squeezed his hand. "Come on. We should get dressed." She told him.

Tony nodded and stood up from the bed. He made his way toward the closet slowly and pulled out his clothes as Ziva did the same.

XXXXX

Tony flipped the collar up on his shirt and turned to Ziva.

"Which one?" He asked, holding up two ties.

"That one." Ziva said, pointing to the dark and light blue striped tie.

Tony nodded silently and threw the tie around his neck. Ziva looked up at him and smiled softly.

"Want some help?" She asked. She knew Tony could tie a tie on his own, but she liked doing it for him. It was a small form of intimacy that she enjoyed.

Tony smiled. "Yeah." He said, his hands dropping away from his collar.

Ziva walked over to him and looped the tie around his neck and worked the fabric into a stylish knot.

"How long did it take Ari to learn how to tie a tie?" Tony asked curiously. Ziva had mentioned she did this for her brother when they were young.

Ziva smiled at the memory. "I was still doing it when he was under cover. We did our best not to make him too formal most of the time." She told him. "As skilled as he was, he was incredibly clumsy in every day life."

Tony smiled a bit. "You never talk about your family." He said.

Ziva shrugged as she folded down Tony's collar. "What is there to talk about?" She asked.

Tony shrugged. "I don't know really, I just thought you might like to talk about them sometime." He said.

Ziva nodded. "Maybe later." She told him.

She did want him to know about her family. They were happy for a long time, but things changed, and sometimes remembering the good times was painful.

She stepped back from Tony and brushed a piece of lint off his shoulder.

"There." She said.

Tony smiled, looking himself over in the mirror. "Thanks."

Ziva kissed his cheek softly. "You're welcome."

"We should get going." Tony said softly.

Ziva nodded. "We don't have to if you don't want to."

Tony shook his head no. "I want to." He said firmly.

Ziva squeezed his hand. "Alright. Let's go then."

XXXXX

Tony and Ziva stepped out of the elevator on the third floor of the courthouse and were surprised to see the entire team standing, waiting for them by the courtroom doors.

Abby was the first to notice them, and she ran toward the couple. She wrapped Ziva in a hug and gave Tony a questioning look. He nodded and opened his arms to her, hugging her tightly.

The three of them walked back to where Gibbs, McGee, Ducky, and Palmer were standing.

Tony waved awkwardly. "Morning." He said quietly.

Gibbs opened his mouth to say something, but he was interrupted by the courtroom doors opening behind them to let people in.

"After you." Was what came out of Gibbs' mouth.

Tony took a deep breath and reached for Ziva's hand, tangling their fingers together.

"I want to sit at the front." Tony told her as they walked through the doors.

"Are you sure?" Ziva asked.

Tony nodded. "Yes." He said surely.

Ziva nodded and led him up to the front of the gallery and took her seat beside him. She wrapped one arm around his waist and the other kept a tight grip on his hand.

Suddenly, the door at the front of the room opened and the judge walked into the room. The gallery stood silently, waiting for the jury to be brought in as well.

"Be seated." Judge Anderson ordered after the jury had settled into their own seats.

The gallery sat.

Ziva's grip on Tony never changed.

Anderson put his small, square-rimmed glasses on and looked over the document in front of him.

"We are here today to deliver the verdict in the State v. Maxwell Clemens." Anderson stated.

Anderson turned to address the jury. "Mister foreman, has the jury reached a verdict?" He asked.

The foreman stood up, along with both the defense attorney and defendant, and ADA Jordan.

"We have, Your Honor." The foreman stated, handing the small piece of paper over to the bailiff to show the judge.

Anderson looked it over and handed it back.

"What say you?" Anderson asked.

Tony's grip on Ziva's hand tightened.

"We find the defendant, Maxwell Clemens, guilty of the First-Degree Sexual Abuse of NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo." The foreman declared.

An audible sigh of relief blew through the gallery. Ziva felt Tony relax against her and she let out a breath she hadn't even realized she'd been holding. Tony felt Gibbs, and probably Ducky reach up and squeeze his shoulders gently.

"Very well." Anderson said. "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, you are excused. Mister Clemens, you will be remanded to the D.C. Department of Corrections pending a sentencing hearing."

XXXXX

"Are you sure you still want to do dinner tomorrow?" Abby asked as they were walking out of the building.

Tony and Ziva looked at each other.

"Yeah, of course. We have to celebrate." Tony said.

"We'll be there at five." McGee said as he held the door open for the team.

Ziva nodded. "Perfect. Do we want chicken or beef?" She asked.

The team all exchanged looks, shrugging their shoulders.

Ziva laughed lightly. "Alright, chicken it is." She told them.

They laughed.

"Works for me." Jimmy piped up.

Gibbs nodded. "Yeah, I'm good with chicken."

Abby, Ducky, and McGee agreed.

Ziva nodded. "Alright, then we have got some shopping to do." She told Tony, reaching for his hand.

Tony looked at her, smiling. "I'll shop with you, but I'm a crap cook." He told her.

Ziva nodded. "Oh, I know you are."

XXXXX

Tony followed Ziva through the apartment door two hours later. He kicked it shut behind him and went to drop the bags in his arms on the kitchen counter, and put the food in the fridge.

He walked back into the living room ten minutes later, as Ziva came out of the bedroom in comfy clothes. She opened her arms to him. Tony smiled a bit and accepted her embrace gratefully.

Ziva slipped her arms around his waist and pulled her boyfriend close to her.

"How do you feel?" She asked.

She felt Tony sigh against her neck. "Relieved. Happy. Lighter." He told her.

Ziva smiled and moved her head to kiss him softly, one hand coming up to play with the hairs at the nape of his neck lightly.

Tony smiled into the kiss and pulled back. "What was that for?" He asked.

Ziva laughed lightly. "If you didn't like it, I don't have to do it again." She joked.

Tony chuckled lowly as his own hand came up to tangle in Ziva's hair, pulling her close to him.

"You better still be doing this when we're eighty." Tony told her before capturing her lips with his own once more.

Ziva's grip in Tony's hair tightened and she gasped when he kissed her. She rested her hands on his shoulders, pushing him away slightly. She took a deep breath and rested her forehead against his shoulder.

"You okay?" Tony asked quickly, terrified that he had scared her, or hurt her.

Ziva nodded, squeezing his shoulders a bit. "I am fine… it's just, kissing you is…" She trailed off, slightly frustrated that she couldn't think of the words.

Tony's hands rested on her hips, gently rubbing small circles around her hipbones with his thumbs.

"Kissing me is…?" He asked curiously.

Ziva closed her eyes, trying to straighten her thoughts. "It is intense, and romantic, and… incredibly sexy." She told him. "Nobody has ever had this effect on me, from a kiss, and it's good, but..."

Tony nodded. "I'm not ready." He said simply, finishing her sentence for her.

Ziva nodded slowly. "It's alright Tony, you know that." She said, looking up at him.

Tony smiled softly, pressing his lips to hers quickly. "I know Zi." She said, rubbing her back gently.

Ziva smiled a bit. "This feeling is still… almost foreign." She told Tony.

He nodded. "I don't doubt it." He said. "Are you okay?" He asked.

Ziva nodded. "I am." She said confidently. "Are you?"

Tony smiled. "I will be eventually." Tony told her.

Ziva smiled. "Come on, let's find a movie or something."


	16. Chapter 16

_So, this is gonna be the last chapter for this story. I like how it rounded out, and I'm working on a third part, (actually I have a huge series planned for this little "world" I've created) the first chapter will be up by next Saturday. Anyway, enough of my rambling, go enjoy chapter 16!_

 _ **Sixteen**_

When Tony's eyes opened the next morning, his head was on Ziva's chest and her arms were wrapped around him firmly. He laid still, enjoying the warmth of the Israeli. He felt Ziva stir and he turned his head to look up at her.

Ziva smiled when her eyes met his. "Good morning." She said, running her hands over his back gently.

Tony smiled. "Good morning." He said.

"Did you sleep all night?" Ziva asked.

Tony thought for a moment. "I guess I did." He said, smiling a bit.

Ziva kissed his forehead. "That's good." She told him.

Tony nodded. "I probably shouldn't get used to it though. I'm sure they'll be back." He said.

Ziva sighed. "Probably." She agreed.

Tony pushed himself up to rest on his elbows and leaned down to kiss Ziva gently.

He pulled away a moment later, smiling. Ziva smiled back at him.

"What are you thinking?" She asked.

Tony shrugged. "I'm kinda proud of myself… for testifying and telling my story." He said, looking away from her.

Ziva brought her hand up to caress Tony's cheek gently, pulling him back to look at her. She smiled.

"You should be proud of yourself Tony. You have no idea how proud I am." She told him.

Tony shrugged. "I guess."

Ziva kissed his forehead softly. "Can I tell you something?" She asked.

Tony nodded as he laid down on his side facing her. "Of course."

Ziva turned over to face him. She hesitated for a moment.

Tony reached out, running his hand along her arm gently. "Talk to me Zi." He requested.

"I'm not quite sure how to say it… I'm… almost jealous, of you." She said quietly, her eyes leaving Tony's.

Now it was Tony's turn to bring her eyes back to his. "What do you mean?" He asked.

Ziva shrugged, biting her lip. "I know it wouldn't have been possible, and I am not saying that I do not want him dead… before you found me, my biggest wish was that he would feel the way that I felt one day. I wanted him to know what it was like to be raped. I wanted him to feel as used and dirty as I did. I wanted him to be scared when he heard footsteps outside the door.." She trailed off as tears slid down her cheeks.

Tony slid closer to her and wrapped his arms around her. Ziva let her weight rest against him as she tried to breathe slowly.

Tony ran his hand though her hair gently, whispering nothing in particular to her as he did it.

"I cannot even count how many different men… it was awful." She told Tony.

Tony kissed her forehead softly. "You're safe now sweetheart." He said softly. "Everyone in that camp is dead."

Ziva nodded. "I am a terrible person." She mumbled, reaching up to play with the Star of David that hung around her neck.

Tony looked down at her. "What?" He asked, thoroughly confused. "No, you aren't."

Ziva sniffled. "I have done a lot of things in my life, but I have never _wanted_ someone to feel so much pain. I wanted him to suffer, and I wanted him to die… I prayed for it… That… it was not right." She told Tony.

Tony sat up and pulled Ziva into his lap. He pulled the blankets over them and wrapped his arms around her tightly.

"We all make mistakes Zi. Some are bigger than others, and what he did to you, what he allowed his men to do to you… he deserved everything he got." Tony said softly.

Ziva shrugged. "He took something from me…" She said. "And he put it back, but the way he put it back… it twisted and contorted everything… he took the peace I felt when I would do simple things, like say Shema, just out of habit… I haven't been able to since. I would try my best to relax myself on Shabbat… He took away the good parts of my faith, everything that offered me a sliver of comfort, and when he put them back… I do not even know how to describe it. But I was not me anymore." She explained.

Tony kissed her forehead softly. "I'm sorry I didn't get there sooner." He told her honestly.

Ziva shook her head. "No." She told him. "You rescued me at the right time. I have always held some belief in 'everything happens for a reason'. We just don't get to know the reason sometimes."

Tony nodded. "There better be a damn good reason to put you through everything you've been through." He said seriously.

Ziva laughed lightly, resting her head on his shoulder. "I am still alive. And so are you. That's what matters." She said.

Tony tightened his grip on her. "You were ready to not be…" He said.

Ziva nodded. "You are right. After everything that had happened with NCIS, and us… my father sent me into a death trap… I had nothing to hold onto anymore." She told him. "Until you showed up."

"I was so happy you were alive." Tony whispered, resting his forehead against hers.

"I was happy that you didn't hate me." Ziva said.

Tony shook his head. "I could never hate you. I love you too much. I always have." He told her.

Ziva smiled a bit, looking up at him. "So have I." She said.

XXXXX

Tony looked through the peephole in the apartment door at quarter to five to see Abby and Gibbs standing outside the door.

He pulled the door open and greeted his friends warmly, stepping aside to allow them into the apartment. They took their shoes off and placed them by the door carefully.

Abby stood up straight, looking at Tony. "Hug?" She asked.

Tony smiled brightly and held his arms open to the forensic scientist. Abby wrapped her arms around him and was taken a bit by surprise when Tony squeezed her tightly. She smiled and squeezed him back lightly. She didn't want to hit a spot that might still be sore.

They released each other after a moment and Abby stepped back. "I'm gonna go see if Ziva needs anything." She told the two agents.

Tony nodded. "Good idea, I wasn't much help." He said, laughing lightly.

Abby rolled her eyes playfully and retreated into the kitchen.

Tony looked over at Gibbs, who was standing by the door, watching him closely.

"You wanna sit down or something, boss?" Tony asked.

Gibbs nodded. "Sure." He said, stepping away from the door.

Tony led him toward the couch, and he sat down. Gibbs sat down on the edge of the coffee table in front of Tony.

Tony sat silently, waiting for Gibbs to speak.

"How are you?" Gibbs asked seriously.

Tony shrugged. "I'm fine." He told him.

Gibbs raised an eyebrow.

Tony sighed. "I will be fine. I feel better than I have in a long time." He told Gibbs.

Gibbs nodded. "We haven't really had a chance to talk since the hospital-"

Tony interrupted him. "Sorry about that, by the way." He said.

Tony flinched, getting ready for the smack on the back of the head he was about to receive. He was pleasantly surprised when his boss' hand came to rest on his shoulder.

"You don't have anything to be sorry for Tony." Gibbs told him seriously. "And I want to make sure you know that nothing's changed. I don't think of you any differently than I did before."

Tony nodded. "Thanks boss." He said quietly.

"You're still a damn fine agent, I've never doubted that." Gibbs said. "I'm just glad you're okay kid." He told Tony, pulling him into a brief hug.

Abby and Ziva watched the two men interact from the kitchen doorway quietly. Ziva had to take a deep breath to stop herself from tearing up. She realized that Tony was right. These people were her family, and she loved them.

A knock on the door startled them. Ziva walked over to the door and pulled it open, and Ducky, Jimmy, and Breena stepped into the apartment.

Ducky kissed Ziva's cheek as Gibbs stood up from the coffee table to sit in the chair against the wall.

"I would've brought something, but I didn't know what to bring!" Ducky told Ziva as he took his shoes off.

Ziva smiled. "Nonsense, Ducky! You do not have to bring anything but yourself." Ziva told him.

Ducky moved to greet Tony, Gibbs, and Abby on the couch while Ziva hugged Jimmy and Breena.

"Chicken is okay for you, yes?" Ziva asked Breena.

Breena nodded, smiling brightly. "Of course." She told Ziva.

Ziva smiled. "Alright, good." She said. "Make yourselves at home, the bathroom is down the hall, it is the last door." She announced.

"Where's McGee?" Jimmy asked.

"Not a clue, he's usually the early one." Tony stated, laughing a bit.

The team laughed with him.

Tony stood up. "What do you guys want to drink?" He asked.

"I have a few bottles of wine, or beer, water…" Ziva listed.

"I'll take a beer." Gibbs told him.

"Me too." Abby and Jimmy said simultaneously.

"I wouldn't say no to a glass of wine, Anthony." Ducky called from his spot on the couch.

"Me too, please." Breena chimed in.

"Alright, three beer, two wine, red or white?" He asked.

"Red, please." Ducky said.

Tony turned to Breena. "And you?" He asked.

"I'll have white, if you don't mind." Breena said.

Tony nodded. "Comin right up." He announced before he walked into the kitchen.

He heard Ziva's familiar footsteps following him into the quiet space. She walked up and stood behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist as he uncorked the wine.

"Are you alright?" She asked.

Tony nodded, turning around in her arms. "I'm fine Zi, I promise." He told her. He leaned down to kiss her softly, his hand coming up to cup her cheek.

Ziva nodded as they pulled away. "Alright."

Tony turned back to his task, and Ziva stayed behind him, as close as possible for as long as possible. As he reached up to get the wine glasses out of the cupboard, he heard Abby opening the door to let McGee in.

"McLate!" Tony called from the kitchen.

McGee's head popped into the doorway. "Not late, just not early." He told Tony.

Tony shook his head. "Whatever you have to tell yourself." He said lightheartedly. "What do you want to drink?" He asked.

"Beer, please." He said.

Ziva released her hold on Tony's waist to grab four bottles of beer out of the fridge and open them. She handed one to McGee on her way out of the kitchen, and delivered the remaining three to Abby, Jimmy, and Gibbs.

"Tony's got the wine." She told Ducky and Breena, who both nodded, waiting patiently.

A moment later, Tony stepped into the living room carefully holding three glasses of wine. He handed one to Breena, and one to Ducky, before he sat down on the floor beside Ziva, handing her the last glass.

Ziva smiled. "Thank you."

Tony wrapped his arm around Ziva's waist and allowed himself to get drawn into the animated conversation that Abby and McGee were having about some sort of computer thing. He felt Ziva relax against him, and she looked up at him before resting her head on his shoulder comfortably.

XXXXX

Ziva grabbed a stack of plates out of the cupboard and set them down beside the food she had laid out on the kitchen counter, since her place wasn't really big enough for a dining table.

"Food's ready." She called as she opened the drawer with the cutlery in it.

She heard seven pairs of feet hurrying toward the kitchen, and she made sure to stand back as they descended on the stack of plates before diving into the food.

"This looks amazing Ziva." Jimmy told her.

"And it smells even better." McGee said as he grabbed some chicken out of the crockpot.

Ziva smiled. "Thank you, it is a family recipe." She told them.

Tony smiled up at her as he managed to squeeze past Gibbs at the back of the line. He stood beside her, and she wrapped her arm around his waist as they watched their friends, waiting patiently for them to finish before they served themselves.

"Cutlery is in the drawer on the end." She said, pointing toward the open drawer.

The team piled food on their plates and grabbed their forks and knives and filed out of the kitchen. Tony handed Ziva a plate and she began to pile her own dinner onto her plate. She kissed Tony's cheek before she grabbed cutlery and followed the rest of the team into the living room to eat.

Tony stepped into the living room with his plate a minute later and found everyone sitting around the coffee table, either on the couch or on the floor, eating and engaged in loud conversations amongst themselves. He was happy to be around them. This felt almost normal, and he wanted nothing more than normal.

XXXXX

A few hours later, everyone was gathering their coats to go home, while Tony and Ziva stood by the door watching.

"Are you sure you don't want some help with the dishes?" Breena asked as she pulled her coat on.

Ziva smiled. "I am sure, I actually kind of enjoy washing dishes. It's relaxing." She told the blonde in front of her.

Breena nodded. "Alright." She said. "Well, thanks for having us."

Ziva smiled. "Thank you for coming. We will all have to do this again at some point." She said.

"I'm up for that." McGee added from behind Ducky.

Jimmy, Breena, and Ducky were the first to leave. Ziva moved between the small crowd of people to hug them and thank them for coming, before sending them on their way.

Abby pulled Tony and Ziva both into tight hugs before she dragged McGee out the door with her.

Gibbs hugged Ziva quickly. "Call if you need anything." He told her.

Ziva nodded. "I will, don't worry. I will see you later." She said before she turned to gather the wine glasses that were on the coffee table.

Gibbs pulled Tony into their second hug in less than five hours, shocking the younger man slightly.

"Same goes for you, you know? I'll do whatever I can to help you. We all will." Gibbs told him.

Tony nodded. "Yeah, I know. Thank you."

Gibbs smiled, a rare occasion that Tony was slightly disappointed he didn't catch on video, strictly for proof that it actually happened.

"You're not alone in this Tony." Gibbs reminded him.

Tony smiled brightly. "I know."

* * *

 _Don't forget that part three will be coming soon! Thanks for reading :)_


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